Audra and I stayed up late last night talking about the last five or so years since we first started dating...in that time there's been a lot of changes in our lives theologically, and each of our respective changes have been quite different from the other's.
One of hers that she mentioned was being lazy, allowing the "I don't want to" attitude to get in the way of doing morning prayers, the reasons being everything from "I didn't really totally choose this for myself to begin with" (I was the one who introduced her to the faith initially), or "I don't feel like God hears/is answering"...yet she said two things that really resonated with me:
1) "No one's making me be Orthodox." -- True, she can't ever say that she chose this faith via an objective decision, unhindered by any other relationship with any other person, but she's stayed with it, continued to choose it for four and a half years now. Kind of takes the "I didn't choose to submit to this" aspect out of it.
2) "I'm just going to keep knocking on God's door, until even the knocking itself becomes a joy." Even if God never answers, she said, the daily and yearly cycles of prayer are themselves to be a joy, simply because of He who is on the other side of that door. (She wanted me to say that that second quote might be from something she read in one of Metr. Anthony Bloom's books, but she's not sure. Regardless, it's deep).