The usual question--"How was church today?"--from my mother this afternoon, followed by the usual murmured "Oh, fine...good..." and change of subject by either me or her...
Please don't misunderstand...I'd much rather have this than what my mother and I did to each other when I first became Orthodox. My mother has shown that she can be a very big person regarding something she so clearly and strongly opposes; her resisting the temptation to badmouth my Faith is noticed and appreciated, but...still...
It's difficult to avoid the elephant in the room...how can I really justify saying anything but "I stood in the courts of the King of Glory today, Ma...I sang with the cherubim and glorified God at the empty Tomb...I chanted "Holy, Holy, Holy" with the angels and elders of the faith...I saw the Queen of Heaven sitted at the right hand of her Lord...I saw the Lamb and Word of God on the Holy Altar, and He spoke to me and gave Himself to me as food...the flesh and blood of He who loves me--who loves mankind--mingled with my own, for the forgiveness of my sins and the healing of my soul and body--I kissed the Tree of Life and ate of the Fruit thereof...I met my God in heaven today..."
In other words...you know...oh, fine...good... (sigh)
Monday, October 30, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
"A 'Good Uneasiness'"
Dixie's got a great post here about mindsets and conversion and how mental gymnastics don't always apply when wanting to fit in while pining for the past... The part that most caught my interest was this:
As Fr. Thomas Hopko says, God is a God who, when He meets our sin, says, "You're not gonna get me to bless it, but you're not gonna get rid of Me, either." The possibility of choosing sin and death over Life remains, but the love never wanes--nevertheless, every now and again it gets hard not to paint a "Once Saved Always Saved" veneer over the somber faces on those icons...
They're somber for a reason.
They're somber 'cause they care.
"I started reading the Lutheran Confessions anachronistically. I tried to convince myself that Lutheranism was Orthodoxy...just the Western version of it. A few Lutheran pastors I know, including my own, would tell me "that's not how we were taught to understand the Confessions" but I couldn't pretend to be Orthodox if I couldn't be allowed to read the Confessions in a particular light."I commented there, but thought it also worth mentioning here...it's hard also, when coming from the Southern Baptist Church to Orthodoxy, to let go of the idea (which is even less ancient than Lutheranism) of "Once Saved Always Saved," wherein God is either so loving that He lets you KNOW you're saved, or He's a sourpuss who nitpicks at every little work you do as you scrape together your own salvation.
As Fr. Thomas Hopko says, God is a God who, when He meets our sin, says, "You're not gonna get me to bless it, but you're not gonna get rid of Me, either." The possibility of choosing sin and death over Life remains, but the love never wanes--nevertheless, every now and again it gets hard not to paint a "Once Saved Always Saved" veneer over the somber faces on those icons...
They're somber for a reason.
They're somber 'cause they care.
Prayers
I was just notified today by a parent that her daughter--one of my students, Kaylyn--has been missing from her home for ten days now. She was suspended, and now has left home and her parents have no idea where she is.
Prayers.
Prayers.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Grace
Funny how things can speak right to you...
Tonight at Vespers, the reading from the prophecy of Jeremiah: (2:2-12, Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition.)
Holy and Glorious Great Martyr Demetrius the Myrrh-gusher of Thessalonica, pray to God for us...
Tonight at Vespers, the reading from the prophecy of Jeremiah: (2:2-12, Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition.)
2Go, and cry in the ears of Jerusalem, saying: Thus saith the Lord: I have remembered thee, pitying thy soul, pitying thy youth, and the love of thy espousals, when thou followedst me in the desert, in a land that is not sown.
3Israel is holy to the Lord, the first fruits of his increase: all they that devour him offend: evils shall come upon them, saith the Lord.
4Hear ye the word of the Lord, O house of Jacob, and all ye families of the house of Israel.
5Thus saith the Lord: What iniquity have your fathers found in me, that they are gone far from me, and have walked after vanity, and are become vain?
6And they have not said: Where is the Lord, that made us come up out of the land of Egypt? that led us through the desert, through a land uninhabited and unpassable, through a land of drought, and the image of death, through a land wherein no man walked, nor any man dwelt?
7And I brought you into the land of Carmel, to eat the fruit thereof, and the best things thereof: ad when ye entered in, you defiled my land, and made my inheritance an abomination.
8The priests did not say: Where is the Lord? and they that held the law knew me not, and the pastors transgressed against me: and the prophets prophesied in Baal, and followed idols.
9Therefore will I yet contend in judgement with you, saith the Lord, and I will plead with your children.
10Pass over to the isles of Cethim, and see: and send into Cedar, and consider diligently: and see if there hath been done any thing like this.
11If a nation hath changed their gods, and indeed they are not gods,: but my people have changed their glory into an idol.
12Be astonished, O ye heavens, at this, and ye gates thereof, be very desolate, saith the Lord.
Holy and Glorious Great Martyr Demetrius the Myrrh-gusher of Thessalonica, pray to God for us...
Friday, October 13, 2006
Abraham's Seed
At the request of Stephen, the following is as brief an elaboration of my thoughts as I can muster re: the nature of "Israel"--who is in it today, who is not, and what this has to do with that hotly-disputed little parcel of land in the Middle East.
Firstly: I do not believe in--nor, imo, does the Orthodox Church teach--what is called "Replacement Theology" by many groups in Christianity that are enamored with all things Hebrew...that is, the idea that the Old Testament Israel has ceased to be, and has been replaced by the Church. The Church does not see herself as a Second Israel, for the Scriptures teach that the Original, First Israel never ceased to be. What has happened is that, simply speaking, those human beings, be they Jew or Gentile, who have rejected Jesus Christ as the Messiah of God have been severed from the Israel of God (see Rom. 11 for an indepth description of this by St. Paul). In the same manner, then, all those who live by faith in Christ have been baptized into the Body of the Messiah, who is the Root of Jesse and the flowering of the tree of Israel.
St. Paul states it succinctly: "If ye are Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." For me--and for the Church--the idea that a group of people that have, by and large, deliberately and vehemently separated themselves from Christ for almost 2,000 years can still be called heirs of promises made to the "children of Abraham" is a slap in the face of Jesus Christ himself. Will all of the Jews come to faith in Christ? Eventually, somehow, yes, to the glory of God they will accept their Messiah and be united to Him with the circumcision not made with hands (baptism), but until then--we must be clear--they are no longer in the green wood of the tree of Israel, but rather the dry (Luke 23:31), and therefore inheritors of none of the promises made to Israel in the Old (or New) Testament, for they (unlike the Christians) no longer comprise the Israel of God, which has been carried on into the Kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ by those who would accept said Christ.
Firstly: I do not believe in--nor, imo, does the Orthodox Church teach--what is called "Replacement Theology" by many groups in Christianity that are enamored with all things Hebrew...that is, the idea that the Old Testament Israel has ceased to be, and has been replaced by the Church. The Church does not see herself as a Second Israel, for the Scriptures teach that the Original, First Israel never ceased to be. What has happened is that, simply speaking, those human beings, be they Jew or Gentile, who have rejected Jesus Christ as the Messiah of God have been severed from the Israel of God (see Rom. 11 for an indepth description of this by St. Paul). In the same manner, then, all those who live by faith in Christ have been baptized into the Body of the Messiah, who is the Root of Jesse and the flowering of the tree of Israel.
St. Paul states it succinctly: "If ye are Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." For me--and for the Church--the idea that a group of people that have, by and large, deliberately and vehemently separated themselves from Christ for almost 2,000 years can still be called heirs of promises made to the "children of Abraham" is a slap in the face of Jesus Christ himself. Will all of the Jews come to faith in Christ? Eventually, somehow, yes, to the glory of God they will accept their Messiah and be united to Him with the circumcision not made with hands (baptism), but until then--we must be clear--they are no longer in the green wood of the tree of Israel, but rather the dry (Luke 23:31), and therefore inheritors of none of the promises made to Israel in the Old (or New) Testament, for they (unlike the Christians) no longer comprise the Israel of God, which has been carried on into the Kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ by those who would accept said Christ.
"Reclaiming" the Gospel
In the Ancient Faith Radio archives, there is this supremely excellent "interview with Dr. Bradley Nassif on Orthodoxy and the Gospel"...specifically, it is on how the Orthodox need to reclaim the actual practice of living out the faithfulness to Christ and the Gospel on which our faith actually centers.
So many good things in it, I won't go into it here. Just know that this Orthoblogger gives his "Amen" to all of it...a prophetic message to the Church, imo...
So many good things in it, I won't go into it here. Just know that this Orthoblogger gives his "Amen" to all of it...a prophetic message to the Church, imo...
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Zorya Ukranian Dance Ensemble at TX St. Fair
Recovering still from a great three-day weekend with the in-laws, during which we went to the fair and saw the Zorya Ukranian Dance Ensemble--several of whose members attend St. Barbara's! They did four very impressive numbers, all of which were recorded amateurishly by Yours Truly and are available for viewing here, here, here and here.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Orthodox and the Afterlife
Yeah...another audio download post for folks with a LOT of time on their hands to listen to stuff...
Go here and you can download all nine talks from the 2006 St. Vladimir's Seminary Summer Institute, where the theme was, obviously, death and the afterlife in the Orthodox tradition.
Just click like you're going to "buy" them, then download them to your hard drive as mp3s.
Go here and you can download all nine talks from the 2006 St. Vladimir's Seminary Summer Institute, where the theme was, obviously, death and the afterlife in the Orthodox tradition.
Just click like you're going to "buy" them, then download them to your hard drive as mp3s.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Drinking of the Fruit of the Vine in the Kingdom of the Cross
Thoughts lately have been coming back to conversations as of late between Orthodox and Protestants (of which I have been a part of or to which I have listened) regarding both the Eucharist, and the millenial kingdom of the Lord...
It's often said by Protestants that the Lord Jesus claimed, after sharing the first Eucharist with His apostles, that He would not drink of "this" fruit of the vine until He was in His Father's Kingdom.
This having been stated, the Protestants often say, we can conclude that:
Aside from the fact that St. Luke's account places the statement before the Eucharist (thus adding support to our belief that the contents of the cup were Blood and not wine), the liquid that Christ drank on the Cross was not vinegar as we know it, but actually a sour wine--the fruit of the vine.
Proof of this can be seen by paralleling the Sacrifice of our Paschal Lamb with the type and shadow of the sacrifices of lambs by high priests in Passovers past: At the appointed time, the High Priest would say “I thirst” and drink a cup of sour wine. Then he would say, “It is finished” as he killed the lamb. The lamb was then placed in the oven before sundown with all of its bones intact. Our Lord fulfilled this perfectly, for not only did He, as our High Priest, utter "I thirst" at the right moment, but He also drank the fruit of the vine on the Cross. And since He said He would not do so again until He did so in the Kingdom, it is clear that the so-called "millenial" Kingdom of the Father ("1,000 years" or "millenium" is simply apocalyptic language for "a really long time that has an eventual end") has come! The Kingdom of Heaven is now!
It's often said by Protestants that the Lord Jesus claimed, after sharing the first Eucharist with His apostles, that He would not drink of "this" fruit of the vine until He was in His Father's Kingdom.
This having been stated, the Protestants often say, we can conclude that:
- That which was in the cup was clearly not His Blood, as He seemed to call it "the fruit of the vine," and
- As He did not drink wine but "vinegar" on the Cross, the Kingdom of His Father is yet to come, and will come at the end of the age of the Gentiles as prophesied in Revelation.
Aside from the fact that St. Luke's account places the statement before the Eucharist (thus adding support to our belief that the contents of the cup were Blood and not wine), the liquid that Christ drank on the Cross was not vinegar as we know it, but actually a sour wine--the fruit of the vine.
Proof of this can be seen by paralleling the Sacrifice of our Paschal Lamb with the type and shadow of the sacrifices of lambs by high priests in Passovers past: At the appointed time, the High Priest would say “I thirst” and drink a cup of sour wine. Then he would say, “It is finished” as he killed the lamb. The lamb was then placed in the oven before sundown with all of its bones intact. Our Lord fulfilled this perfectly, for not only did He, as our High Priest, utter "I thirst" at the right moment, but He also drank the fruit of the vine on the Cross. And since He said He would not do so again until He did so in the Kingdom, it is clear that the so-called "millenial" Kingdom of the Father ("1,000 years" or "millenium" is simply apocalyptic language for "a really long time that has an eventual end") has come! The Kingdom of Heaven is now!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Thought I'd Died, Huh?
No, I haven't forgotten that I do, in fact, keep a blog. So for those of you still checking after 11 days (because we bloggers can be fickle folk), here's a brief run-down on the past week and a half.
Sept. 19: The ninth anniversary of the untimely death (though he would correct me: all was in God's timing, that and all the cool geniuses died young) of a man many (of which I am one) consider to have made a profound effect on their spiritual outlook: Richard Wayne Mullins. He was killed on that date in 1997 when a semi collided with his Jeep. He was 41, and one of the most needed voices within contemporary Christian music. May his memory be eternal.
Allergies: My goodness. Usually I experience minor stuffiness, drainage, etc. at the beginning of Spring, beginning of Fall. Not this year. It's a week and a half and I'm just now getting past the worst of it. Unfortunately, this hit during the last week of the grading period, which means that a lot of the end-of-period grading I usually get done has now piled up on me due to my early-to-bed ways (which is also my excuse for not blogging). Late nights ahead this weekend, but glory be to God, I'm now able to tackle it...
Good conversations: A catechumen at our parish and I talked about what exactly "Israel" means for the Christian...who is it, what is it, what does it have to do with that patch-o'-land in the Middle East...actually won him over, which doesn't happen very often...
Audra and I talking about how my native speaker situation (looks to be unresolved for good, folks) is constraining me; looks to be an opportunity for growth, though it is highly inconvenient.
Christmas plans already...gift lists, travel plans, which services will attend, where, and at which parish...ugh. The fast beforehand will be a welcome preparation for receiving the Incarnate One. Good to think about this, even in late September...
Sept. 19: The ninth anniversary of the untimely death (though he would correct me: all was in God's timing, that and all the cool geniuses died young) of a man many (of which I am one) consider to have made a profound effect on their spiritual outlook: Richard Wayne Mullins. He was killed on that date in 1997 when a semi collided with his Jeep. He was 41, and one of the most needed voices within contemporary Christian music. May his memory be eternal.
Allergies: My goodness. Usually I experience minor stuffiness, drainage, etc. at the beginning of Spring, beginning of Fall. Not this year. It's a week and a half and I'm just now getting past the worst of it. Unfortunately, this hit during the last week of the grading period, which means that a lot of the end-of-period grading I usually get done has now piled up on me due to my early-to-bed ways (which is also my excuse for not blogging). Late nights ahead this weekend, but glory be to God, I'm now able to tackle it...
Good conversations: A catechumen at our parish and I talked about what exactly "Israel" means for the Christian...who is it, what is it, what does it have to do with that patch-o'-land in the Middle East...actually won him over, which doesn't happen very often...
Audra and I talking about how my native speaker situation (looks to be unresolved for good, folks) is constraining me; looks to be an opportunity for growth, though it is highly inconvenient.
Christmas plans already...gift lists, travel plans, which services will attend, where, and at which parish...ugh. The fast beforehand will be a welcome preparation for receiving the Incarnate One. Good to think about this, even in late September...
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Sprazdnikom! (late)
Rejoice, O Life-bearing Cross, the invincible weapon of godliness, the gate of paradise, the protection of the faithful! The Cross is the might of the Church. Through it corruption is abolished. Through it the power of death is crushed and we are raised from earth to heaven! The Cross is the invincible weapon of peace, the enemy of demons, the glory of the martyrs, the haven of salvation// which grants the world great mercy!
Rejoice, O Cross of the Lord! Through you mankind has been delivered from the curse, shattering the enemy by your Exaltation! O Cross, worthy of all honor, you are a sign of true joy; you are our help, you are the strength of kings. You are the power of the righteous. You are the majesty of priests. All who sign themselves with you are freed from danger. O rod of strength, under which we like sheep are tended, You are a weapon of peace round which the angels stand in fear! You are the divine glory of Christ our God,// Who grants the world great mercy!
Rejoice, O guide of the blind, physician of the sick and resurrection of the dead! O precious Cross, you raised us up when we were fallen into mortality. Through you corruption has been destroyed, and incorruption has blossomed forth. We mortals are made divine and the devil is completely overthrown! Seeing you exalted today by the hands of bishops, we exalt Him Who was lifted high upon you and we fall down in worship before you,// freely drawing from you great mercy!
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Moses prefigured the Cross and defeated Amalek; David ordered worship at Your footstool. So today we sinners venerate it with unworthy lips, O Christ God. We cry to You, the crucified One:// “O Lord, make us worthy, with the thief, of Your Kingdom!”
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Classic Rich...
So I saw a link to this on Josh's blog, and I loved it; classic Rich Mullins:
[In the middle of leading a chapel service at Wheaton College]
[In the middle of leading a chapel service at Wheaton College]
"You guys are all into that born again thing, which is great. We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you just have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy too...[And he paused in the awkward silence.] But I guess that's why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest."
Sunday, September 10, 2006
A Blessed Beginning
So about a week ago, Matushka asked me if I would mind leading the intermediate (pre-teen, basically) group in Church School this year. Since I knew that those three kids were bright, attentive, and well-behaved in general, I figured it'd be good discussion, insights on their part, and lots of cooperation.
I was not disappointed in the least. Would that our parenting skills produce children so good-natured.
But, I gotta tell y'all...sigh...y'all, I'm a teacher. I have been college-educated and state-certified in order to be a professional educator of children with regards to the Spanish language. So you can imagine that dispersing information to pupils would be nothing new to me. No big deal, right?
Sigh...again...
Lyrics from Rich Mullins are commonplace on this blog, as longtime readers will attest to, but one in particular stood out as I walked them through Adam and Eve/New Adam and New Eve for the Nativity of the Theotokos:
To see the "light bulb moment" on their faces when they saw that the woman who was taken from the man would offer him death, and he took it, then when they saw that the Man who was taken from the woman would offer her life, and she would take it--they saw how the original (as in very first) sin of our race began to be reversed in this mirror image, and that image ending in the image of the Resurrection, the ultimate defeat of death that began...well, with the first Adam, but, as one of the kids noted, "the beginning of the end of the beginning" being the miraculous arrival in this world of she who is the New Ark of the Covenant, for she holds the Word of
God -- she who is the second Eve -- she whose womb was more spacious than the heavens, for it held what the universe cannot -- she whose "yes" was pure enough to untie the knot that Eve's "no" fastened around our race -- she who is the East Gate in which the Prince ate bread for nine months, then passed through, sealing it against any others' passing through -- she who is the New Red Sea, through whom the deliverance of Israel passed and then remained closed as it was before -- she who is the New Ladder of Jacob, on which the Lord descended to Earth -- she who is blessed among all women -- she whom all generations, under the declaration of the Holy Spirit of God, will call blessed....
Such a blessed beginning is a much weightier endeavor than any ol' Spanish lesson. Fear and trembling is appropriate here. Prayers for our Church School year would be appreciated.
Happy New Year (or as Father likes to say, Holy New Year) to all of y'all, and happy belated feast day!
I was not disappointed in the least. Would that our parenting skills produce children so good-natured.
But, I gotta tell y'all...sigh...y'all, I'm a teacher. I have been college-educated and state-certified in order to be a professional educator of children with regards to the Spanish language. So you can imagine that dispersing information to pupils would be nothing new to me. No big deal, right?
Sigh...again...Lyrics from Rich Mullins are commonplace on this blog, as longtime readers will attest to, but one in particular stood out as I walked them through Adam and Eve/New Adam and New Eve for the Nativity of the Theotokos:
Two full-grown men in a huddle of kids
And they're tryin' to help them to believe
What is too good to be real
Yet is more real than the air they breathe
To see the "light bulb moment" on their faces when they saw that the woman who was taken from the man would offer him death, and he took it, then when they saw that the Man who was taken from the woman would offer her life, and she would take it--they saw how the original (as in very first) sin of our race began to be reversed in this mirror image, and that image ending in the image of the Resurrection, the ultimate defeat of death that began...well, with the first Adam, but, as one of the kids noted, "the beginning of the end of the beginning" being the miraculous arrival in this world of she who is the New Ark of the Covenant, for she holds the Word of
God -- she who is the second Eve -- she whose womb was more spacious than the heavens, for it held what the universe cannot -- she whose "yes" was pure enough to untie the knot that Eve's "no" fastened around our race -- she who is the East Gate in which the Prince ate bread for nine months, then passed through, sealing it against any others' passing through -- she who is the New Red Sea, through whom the deliverance of Israel passed and then remained closed as it was before -- she who is the New Ladder of Jacob, on which the Lord descended to Earth -- she who is blessed among all women -- she whom all generations, under the declaration of the Holy Spirit of God, will call blessed....Such a blessed beginning is a much weightier endeavor than any ol' Spanish lesson. Fear and trembling is appropriate here. Prayers for our Church School year would be appreciated.
Happy New Year (or as Father likes to say, Holy New Year) to all of y'all, and happy belated feast day!
Orthodoxy and Same Sex Attraction
A great summation of the Orthodox view of same-sex attraction has been written here by Steve Robinson. Also there is the (ideal, yet sadly, in many cases ignored) reaction that we as Orthodox Christians should take towards those with SSA.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Schmemann and Eucharist
Owen and Douglas Ian have both mentioned The Journals of Father Alexander Schmemann recently, and said mentionings have prompted me to pick my copy back up. Fr. Alexander was quite a formidable influence in my journey to become Orthodox, and these quotes pretty much sum up why:
We as Orthodox have an amazing opportunity with our icons, vestments (Imperial in appearance though they may be, eschatological they still remain), architecture, liturgy, sacraments, rubrics, hymnography, music and theology: we can search for the "one thing needful" in all of this--and it is more a matter of what one is looking for rather than if something is or is not inherently within a practice; a practice is what we make it--and use it all, every note, word and movement, to point to the renewal of Creation through our Lord's taking on our nature for our sake, and for the life of the whole world.
Happy Labor Day, y'all. God bless.
12/17/73:There's a lot of talk on other blogs--most notably Julio's here and here--about what exactly the "Western captivity" of Orthodoxy is and/or was; it's said that we lambast the western expressions of Christianity for exactly the wrong things, and do so in a way that is (ironically) inherently western. While I sense the veracity of this, I do not, I admit, possess the intellectual wherewithal or philosophical background of the guys I linked to above to actually explain it. I will say, however, that one of the things from my own Protestant/Evangelical upbringing for which I am the most grateful and which Fr. Alexander states so beautifully above (along with his son-in-law, Fr. Thomas Hopko, if you've listened to him) is that all is about God; all points to God. Nothing should ever be done simply because "that's the way it's always been done," or because "St. Soandso said suchandsuch in chapter eleventeen of the fortyleventh book of the Philokalia"--these things may add to the force of argument for a certain practice, if said saint or tradition has been shown to show forth the life of God in the Church, but the primary reason anything should be done in our Church is because it shows forth the Kingdom of Heaven.
[Referring to the ROCOR, towards whom in general I hold no ill will whatsoever; the situation between the OCA and the ROCOR was much tenser then than it is now ~ DB] "These people, stifled by their own chose limitations, are quite unable to accept or try to understand any creativity. Christianity and Orthodoxy are good and acceptable [according to them] because the are ancient, because they are in the past, because they are the substance and the sanction of the 'orthodox way of life'...The defenders of the 'orthodox way of life' express one clear and profound answer [to the question of Orthodoxy's future] as they define it. But there is no clear, total answer from any other side except reductions, like return to 'Byzantium,' or spiritual individualism, or reading the ascetics, or escapism from reality. I hesitate to come forward with my feeling--it sounds arrogant--that I have an answer! In everything that I preach, or teach, or write, I want this answer to appear, hopefully to shine through. But that answer cannot be squeezed into any system, any recipe, any defined way of life. No rules come out of that answer. It is simply a vision of life, and what comes from that vision is the light, the transparency, the referral of everything to the 'Other, the eschatological character of life itself and all that is in it. The source of that eschatological light, the lifting up of all life, is the sacrament of the Eucharist.
...
"The Eucharist reveals the Church as community--love for Christ, love in Christ--as a mission to turn each and all to Christ. The Church has no other purpose, no 'religious life' separate from the world. Otherwise the Church would become an idol...Only this presence can give meaning and value to everything in life, can refer everything to that experience and make it full. 'The image of this world is passing away.' But only by passing away does the world finally become the 'World': a gift of God, a happiness that comes from being in communion with the content, the form, the image of that 'World.'"
1/24/74:
"In our world, any religion without Christ (even Christianity and Orthodoxy) is a negative phenomenon, even frightening. Any contact with such a religion is dangerous. One can study it to better understand Christianity, or Christ. But by itself, it cannot be salvation, however one understands this word.
"For the early Christians, the Body of Christ is on the altar because He is among them. For the contemporary Christians, Christ is here because His Body is on the altar. It seems to be analogous, but in fact, there is an essential difference between the early Christians and us. For them, everything is in knowing Christ, loving Him. For us, everything is in the desire to be enlightened. The early Christians came to Communion to follow Christ, whereas now Christ is not the unique reason for partaking of Communion."
We as Orthodox have an amazing opportunity with our icons, vestments (Imperial in appearance though they may be, eschatological they still remain), architecture, liturgy, sacraments, rubrics, hymnography, music and theology: we can search for the "one thing needful" in all of this--and it is more a matter of what one is looking for rather than if something is or is not inherently within a practice; a practice is what we make it--and use it all, every note, word and movement, to point to the renewal of Creation through our Lord's taking on our nature for our sake, and for the life of the whole world.
Happy Labor Day, y'all. God bless.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
The Cipher of Leonardo
If you have ever read Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in the Middle English (or tried to) and are up to the challenge, I dare you to read this and not sit in slack-jawed amazement at the sheer brilliance of it.
Memory Eternal
That seemingly omnipresent bloggerchick, Stacy, has written a couple of pieces--here and here--that were prompted not so much by her experiences in Africa as of late, but more by the concept of remembrance. Excellent posts, as they not only treat the people of Africa as just that--as people, instead of mere emaciated heads and ribs and swollen bellies that get depicted and thrown away in world hunger leaflets...(ahem)--but they touch on a primal need of people: the need to be remembered.
We Orthodox make a lot of that verse ("that verse" being Hebrews 2:15) that says that Christ came to "deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage." We see this in the icon of Pascha that Stacy references in her second post. But why do we fear death? Is it the process of death? Is it what lies beyond death? I honestly don't think most people make it that far out most of the time, myself included. I think a lot of us fear death because that's the Great Forgetting, in a lot of our minds. We think that men will forget us once we're gone, we think that God will allow for our memory to pass into oblivion, and this terrifies us, since we also lose track of the fact (or forget, ironically) that the whole world will pass away. Since, though, Christ has not forgotten us nor left us in the tombs, we are free to remember and be remembered in the restoration of the communion (or the re-membering of one another, if you'll forgive the pun) that defines us as human.
Speaking of communion defining what it means to be human, this post on touch within the Church by Owen is well worth the time I've spent up this morning. I may be unable to sleep, but when one has good readin', it makes it better.
Anticipating Christ's Communion, and our remembering each other -- and re-membering with each other -- in and through His presence, in a few hours...
We Orthodox make a lot of that verse ("that verse" being Hebrews 2:15) that says that Christ came to "deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage." We see this in the icon of Pascha that Stacy references in her second post. But why do we fear death? Is it the process of death? Is it what lies beyond death? I honestly don't think most people make it that far out most of the time, myself included. I think a lot of us fear death because that's the Great Forgetting, in a lot of our minds. We think that men will forget us once we're gone, we think that God will allow for our memory to pass into oblivion, and this terrifies us, since we also lose track of the fact (or forget, ironically) that the whole world will pass away. Since, though, Christ has not forgotten us nor left us in the tombs, we are free to remember and be remembered in the restoration of the communion (or the re-membering of one another, if you'll forgive the pun) that defines us as human.
Speaking of communion defining what it means to be human, this post on touch within the Church by Owen is well worth the time I've spent up this morning. I may be unable to sleep, but when one has good readin', it makes it better.
Anticipating Christ's Communion, and our remembering each other -- and re-membering with each other -- in and through His presence, in a few hours...
Insomnia and Oxen...
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
one Thing needful...
School is off and running; with the illnesses of previous weeks beaten, my students and I seem to be getting into a routine now...just in time for total upheaval, as an assistant principal and I have determined that the only way we can fix the absurd-yet-perennial situation of native Spanish-speakers being placed in my language acquisition classes is to convert one of my existing Spanish 2 courses into a Spanish 1/2 course for native speakers, and move all native speakers either to this class, or to other native speaker classes already in existence. The non-native speakers in said class will be dispersed to my other six periods. Joy. Yet, while this is a big pain both for me and for them, the advantages of having a much more homogenous classroom environment in terms of abilities and background will be well worth it once we really hit a stride.
Attended liturgy last Sunday for the first time since Transfiguration on the sixth. "It is good for us to be here" is about the only thing that needs to be said. The Church being what it is: the mystery of the Body of Christ on Earth, full of light and lightness.
Found out that a dear friend is getting a divorce, and is already in another serious (or at least an emotionally intense) relationship. Questions about why we grow up to practice without a second thought what we spent our childhoods knowing was wrong (I am no stranger to this), as well as what possible emotional need we're looking to fill by running to these things for our sustenance.
Talk with two inquirers last Saturday evening after Vespers (out of order, I know, but so are these rambling thoughts) about the church they're coming from versus ours, and the invariable discontent that is present during that period of transition. The situation they were coming from was one I could sympathize with, as well as understand why they would want to make the move they were making, so it was a bit of an attempt to help them temper the discontent with acknowledgement of the goodness and beauty that's there where they came from. Had "that feeling" both during and after the conversation, which I brought up to Father Basil after they had left: during conversations where I am asked my opinion (and even those when I am not), I will often feel, during the times I'm talking, a nagging voice inside that says, "Shut up; shut up; shut up; you're talking too much and not only making a fool of yourself, but also hogging the conversation and feeding your ego with your chatter." Father said that he had talked with a priest just the other day who was concerned about this very thing within himself, and also said that he had overheard an actual theologian voice this very fear about himself, as well. Good to hear I'm not alone... Fr. said that, as long as I'm aware of the tension, as long as I'm asking these questions of myself, an important check is in place in me. Audra's advice re: this was best, though, imo: "Always strive to listen louder than you talk."
Vespers tonight, then inquirers class with two regular inquirers. Talked about the Church as a Mystery which has mysteries within it, and about how to read the Bible. For the latter, we read part of an article by Bp. KALLISTOS (which can be found in the back of the Orthodox Study Bible New Testament/Psalms). Always good to revisit "the basics." A brother from an OCA mission in Birmingham is here in Ft. Worth on business the next few weeks; got to visit with him and hear his story. Growth, pains, small buildings, committment, community--all these things mark his current experience in the Faith, and he loves it. Totally captivated by the beauty and the goodness of the Church as worship of God. Seeing the Church--and, thus, Christ--in this manner makes all other reasons for leaving behind former confessions/lives rather trivial, as the one Thing needful trumps all convert defensiveness, self-important chatter, emotional reactions or occupational curveballs.
Attended liturgy last Sunday for the first time since Transfiguration on the sixth. "It is good for us to be here" is about the only thing that needs to be said. The Church being what it is: the mystery of the Body of Christ on Earth, full of light and lightness.
Found out that a dear friend is getting a divorce, and is already in another serious (or at least an emotionally intense) relationship. Questions about why we grow up to practice without a second thought what we spent our childhoods knowing was wrong (I am no stranger to this), as well as what possible emotional need we're looking to fill by running to these things for our sustenance.
Talk with two inquirers last Saturday evening after Vespers (out of order, I know, but so are these rambling thoughts) about the church they're coming from versus ours, and the invariable discontent that is present during that period of transition. The situation they were coming from was one I could sympathize with, as well as understand why they would want to make the move they were making, so it was a bit of an attempt to help them temper the discontent with acknowledgement of the goodness and beauty that's there where they came from. Had "that feeling" both during and after the conversation, which I brought up to Father Basil after they had left: during conversations where I am asked my opinion (and even those when I am not), I will often feel, during the times I'm talking, a nagging voice inside that says, "Shut up; shut up; shut up; you're talking too much and not only making a fool of yourself, but also hogging the conversation and feeding your ego with your chatter." Father said that he had talked with a priest just the other day who was concerned about this very thing within himself, and also said that he had overheard an actual theologian voice this very fear about himself, as well. Good to hear I'm not alone... Fr. said that, as long as I'm aware of the tension, as long as I'm asking these questions of myself, an important check is in place in me. Audra's advice re: this was best, though, imo: "Always strive to listen louder than you talk."
Vespers tonight, then inquirers class with two regular inquirers. Talked about the Church as a Mystery which has mysteries within it, and about how to read the Bible. For the latter, we read part of an article by Bp. KALLISTOS (which can be found in the back of the Orthodox Study Bible New Testament/Psalms). Always good to revisit "the basics." A brother from an OCA mission in Birmingham is here in Ft. Worth on business the next few weeks; got to visit with him and hear his story. Growth, pains, small buildings, committment, community--all these things mark his current experience in the Faith, and he loves it. Totally captivated by the beauty and the goodness of the Church as worship of God. Seeing the Church--and, thus, Christ--in this manner makes all other reasons for leaving behind former confessions/lives rather trivial, as the one Thing needful trumps all convert defensiveness, self-important chatter, emotional reactions or occupational curveballs.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Graduate-Level Problems?
Yes, those of you who check timestamps, I'm home again, home again. Hope is better--thanks for the prayers--but we had another doc appt. and she's been cleared for daycare tomorrow. Meanwhile, I miss more school. Glory to God in all things, in spite of the inconvenience, I suppose.
My friend Alan referred me to this article, whose main premise (if you're adverse to reading the whole thing yourself) is that an ecclesiastically or organizationally unified Church such as Rome or the Orthodox is no better off re: doctrinal unity than a conglomeration of doctrinally divided institutionalized churches (i.e, the various Protestant confessions) because of internal conflicts and differences of opinion within the confession re: certain theological issues.
My thoughts (which can also be read under the article in the comments section if you want to click there) would be that the difference between the more ancient confessions and the more recent Protestant groups lies in Hebrews 6:1-2:
So are we perfectly united in all respects today? No, and in that fact--that we are not in total unity of belief--we have something in common with the Protestants. Yet I would rather have merely the problems of today and know that the problems of the apostolic age are settled, so we don't have to go back and re-search the Scriptures in every generation to see if we've got something as basic as baptism right.
Similar symptoms; two different diseases.
My friend Alan referred me to this article, whose main premise (if you're adverse to reading the whole thing yourself) is that an ecclesiastically or organizationally unified Church such as Rome or the Orthodox is no better off re: doctrinal unity than a conglomeration of doctrinally divided institutionalized churches (i.e, the various Protestant confessions) because of internal conflicts and differences of opinion within the confession re: certain theological issues.
My thoughts (which can also be read under the article in the comments section if you want to click there) would be that the difference between the more ancient confessions and the more recent Protestant groups lies in Hebrews 6:1-2:
"Therefore, leaving the discussion of the elementary principles of Christ, let us go on to perfection, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, of the doctrine of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment."In our view, the conflicts that Protestant groups have with each other stem from those things we would define as "elementary principles"--the nature of faith and works, the nature of baptism, the nature of the laying on of hands, of the end times, as the passage indicates--while those that the Catholics and the Orthodox have each within their respective communions are much more recent. Having settled these elementary principles through Holy Tradition, we now struggle within our respective families to ascertain what the proper way to engage today's culture is...in our case as the Orthodox, which calendar do we use? How do we receive converts in THIS day and age, since many of the converts are coming from backgrounds the authors of Scripture and the later fathers never DREAMED of? We Orthodox all absolutely agree on what the nature of baptism is--it is the moment of regeneration from being buried in Christ and raised with Him and is available to all people--but the application of said sacrament under these unique circumstances eludes us; we are praying for a unified response to come, as we believe it (eventually) will.
So are we perfectly united in all respects today? No, and in that fact--that we are not in total unity of belief--we have something in common with the Protestants. Yet I would rather have merely the problems of today and know that the problems of the apostolic age are settled, so we don't have to go back and re-search the Scriptures in every generation to see if we've got something as basic as baptism right.
Similar symptoms; two different diseases.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Prayers...
...for daughter Hope (baptized Elizabeth), who has been sick with intermittent fever, congestion, pinkeye, and just general miserableness for a couple of weeks, on and off.
Y'all Take Isseer ADVANCED Test...!
For those of y'all who already took the first one...here's a second one.
Now, I don't know how--not all my answers were as "Dixie" as they could be--but my score went up from 83% in the original test ("Do you still use Confederate money?") to: "100% Dixie. Is General Lee your grandfather?!" Ah'll be...
(Loved the response to "c" on #19...heh, heh, heh...lunes...)
Now, I don't know how--not all my answers were as "Dixie" as they could be--but my score went up from 83% in the original test ("Do you still use Confederate money?") to: "100% Dixie. Is General Lee your grandfather?!" Ah'll be...
(Loved the response to "c" on #19...heh, heh, heh...lunes...)
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Sick Leave, Day 2
There was no "Day 1" post because, unlike today, I spent most of yesterday either in bed, or walking around at half speed in a drug-enduced stupor. Today I'm much more alert, God be praised, but continue to spend the day at home--sort of an "ounce of prevention" thing. Not enjoying it at all though; emotions and what we do with them when we get knocked off our feet are tricky.
At first I thought my initial frustration was due to the fact that this is the first week of school back with the kids, I need to be there and meet them, I need to establish rapport, yadda yadda yadda...which is true, but anyone who looks honestly at the first week of school knows that, instructionally speaking, not a whole lot goes down. So whence the frustration?
Mostly, I figured out last night, it stems from my not getting sick a whole lot. Really, ask my students. They complain when they come up the stairs and see me, day after day, "Man, you never get a sub!" So all of a sudden, here I am on Monday, at school, with a back ache, a neck ache, and pain in my scalp and behind my eyes, and a little feeling of drainage, the beginning of chills...and I know something's wrong. Turns out, the doctor said, that it's probably an upper respiratory infection--hence my four-prescription cocktail they have me on for the next few days.
Losing control of one's body...I've seen a man who was absolutely reduced to a growling, raging lunatic because of it, and I've seen a man (my grandfather) who changed from an abusive alcoholic to a much humbler, gentler (though perhaps no happier) man. Sickness to me--at least, before the medications, when I was really feeling down--was a reminder of just how much dust I am, how helpless. Regaining a part of that strength back yesterday, yet still being unable to go to school and teach--now that was difficult. The old trusting in the chariots and horses tied into the "reins of my body," as the prayer says, came back strong, leaving me to wonder where the blessed submission went, the mindfulness of my own weakness. Also left me wondering just how often we "use God" in our prayers, when so very often we think we are being sincere. We say all the prayers, use the anointing oil, etc when we have no other option (because we can barely stand up), but when given the choice between our strength, once returned, and a continued awareness of God's necessity...many of us act like my daughter: once we have whatever it is that we're crying for, we're off like a shot to do it ourselves, blissfully ignorant of needing any Others' help.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all that He hath done for thee / Who is gracious unto all thine iniquities, Who healeth all thine infirmities...
At first I thought my initial frustration was due to the fact that this is the first week of school back with the kids, I need to be there and meet them, I need to establish rapport, yadda yadda yadda...which is true, but anyone who looks honestly at the first week of school knows that, instructionally speaking, not a whole lot goes down. So whence the frustration?
Mostly, I figured out last night, it stems from my not getting sick a whole lot. Really, ask my students. They complain when they come up the stairs and see me, day after day, "Man, you never get a sub!" So all of a sudden, here I am on Monday, at school, with a back ache, a neck ache, and pain in my scalp and behind my eyes, and a little feeling of drainage, the beginning of chills...and I know something's wrong. Turns out, the doctor said, that it's probably an upper respiratory infection--hence my four-prescription cocktail they have me on for the next few days.
Losing control of one's body...I've seen a man who was absolutely reduced to a growling, raging lunatic because of it, and I've seen a man (my grandfather) who changed from an abusive alcoholic to a much humbler, gentler (though perhaps no happier) man. Sickness to me--at least, before the medications, when I was really feeling down--was a reminder of just how much dust I am, how helpless. Regaining a part of that strength back yesterday, yet still being unable to go to school and teach--now that was difficult. The old trusting in the chariots and horses tied into the "reins of my body," as the prayer says, came back strong, leaving me to wonder where the blessed submission went, the mindfulness of my own weakness. Also left me wondering just how often we "use God" in our prayers, when so very often we think we are being sincere. We say all the prayers, use the anointing oil, etc when we have no other option (because we can barely stand up), but when given the choice between our strength, once returned, and a continued awareness of God's necessity...many of us act like my daughter: once we have whatever it is that we're crying for, we're off like a shot to do it ourselves, blissfully ignorant of needing any Others' help.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all that He hath done for thee / Who is gracious unto all thine iniquities, Who healeth all thine infirmities...
Friday, August 11, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
The Psalms of David -- Psalm 27
So, yeah...four months since the last one...which means I'll probably get done with this in, oh, a decade or so...
"Unto Thee will I cry, O LORD my rock; be not silent to me: lest, if Thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit" (v. 1).
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him" (v 7).
What strikes me here is David's childlikeness. His total dependence upon and trust in his God and Father in word, deed, and thought. Of course he's as good as dead if God truly is silent to his plight. Of course he his helped when he puts his trust in the LORD. Of course men are going to be swallowed up alive and consumed if they trust in anyone or anything that is not God. The prophet revels in this salvific simplicity, the same one I see in the eyes of a certain 13-month old I live with. She gets it, as does the Prophet. So what's my deal?
Let's see...(flips through Fr. Patrick's book to the notes made on this psalm, then chuckles)...heh...funny how thoughts can stay the same over the months...
Taking the psalm from a christic point of view (which is the point of Fr.'s book and, indeed, is the ultimate point of all Scripture), those two verses take on a new meaning, particularly when read in the Greek version of the Old Testament (referred to as the Septuagint, or abbreviated LXX). Verse seven, instead of saying, "my heart greatly rejoiceth" as the Hebrew does, says "my flesh took life again" or "flourished again." No wonder this psalm is chanted in the Eastern Orthodox Church early on Sunday mornings, the day of resurrection; our Incarnate God did not experience the silence of the Father when He went down into the pit, but showed Himself to be the very and final Word which bestowed life upon all of us who were in the tomb of rotten humanity. Therefore His flesh took life again, as will ours as well. May our hearts trust in Him and thereby rise to glory and not to damnation.
"Unto Thee will I cry, O LORD my rock; be not silent to me: lest, if Thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit" (v. 1).
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him" (v 7).
What strikes me here is David's childlikeness. His total dependence upon and trust in his God and Father in word, deed, and thought. Of course he's as good as dead if God truly is silent to his plight. Of course he his helped when he puts his trust in the LORD. Of course men are going to be swallowed up alive and consumed if they trust in anyone or anything that is not God. The prophet revels in this salvific simplicity, the same one I see in the eyes of a certain 13-month old I live with. She gets it, as does the Prophet. So what's my deal?
Let's see...(flips through Fr. Patrick's book to the notes made on this psalm, then chuckles)...heh...funny how thoughts can stay the same over the months...
Taking the psalm from a christic point of view (which is the point of Fr.'s book and, indeed, is the ultimate point of all Scripture), those two verses take on a new meaning, particularly when read in the Greek version of the Old Testament (referred to as the Septuagint, or abbreviated LXX). Verse seven, instead of saying, "my heart greatly rejoiceth" as the Hebrew does, says "my flesh took life again" or "flourished again." No wonder this psalm is chanted in the Eastern Orthodox Church early on Sunday mornings, the day of resurrection; our Incarnate God did not experience the silence of the Father when He went down into the pit, but showed Himself to be the very and final Word which bestowed life upon all of us who were in the tomb of rotten humanity. Therefore His flesh took life again, as will ours as well. May our hearts trust in Him and thereby rise to glory and not to damnation.
Hopko Lectures at the 2006 Diocese of the South Diocesan Assembly
I was blessed to be able to attend said Assembly last week, and, after a hierarchical Divine Liturgy, sat in on a talk by Fr. Thomas Hopko. Even more blessed was I, however, when Fr. Basil told me last night after daily vespers that four of Fr. Tom's other talks have been put online in mp3 format, available for streaming listening and/or download!
What I've listened to so far is classic Fr. Tom (read: that means real, real good), and it can all be found here, thanks to St. John the Wonderworker in Atlanta.
What I've listened to so far is classic Fr. Tom (read: that means real, real good), and it can all be found here, thanks to St. John the Wonderworker in Atlanta.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Eucharistic Relations
I did not commune this morning. Suffice it to say, I was not prepared. We'll leave it at that.
It's always interesting to me to deal with my thoughts on mornings I don't commune. Why are my sins, which really are ever-present in my life, all of a sudden so serious now that they keep me from the chalice, when on other weeks such is not the case?
St. Paul, it seems, is quite merciful when he tells us that "whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord" (1 Cor. 11:27, emph. mine). He does not say, it should be noted, that we are not to partake "unworthily"--for none of us could claim to be such--yet we are not to partake in an "unworthy manner." My manner of preparation, or lack thereof, was most definitely unworthy of the supreme gift that was offered today for all of us, and for all the world. A bit of the foretaste of that Day, perhaps, when all those who come before the Lord unprepared will see that they are unable to partake of His presence as joy and rest...
What is the Eucharist for us Orthodox, exactly? My thought while driving to church today was that the Eucharist is, for a person who's living an upright Christian life in relation to his God and his neighbor (especially his brothers and sisters in Christ), what sex is for a couple in a healthy marriage. Does the sex make the couple one? Not really; the act of marriage itself is what unites a man and a woman, while sex is the celebration of the union that's already been formed. In the same way, the Eucharist is not the thing that truly unites us to Christ--that happened at our baptisms and chrismations--but the Eucharist is the (if you'll pardon the somewhat vulgar pun) "climax" of our already existing union with the Almighty, a celebration of a union that is healthy and open, both as individuals with their Maker and Bridegroom, and as individuals in community with each other as the Body of Christ.
For me to have communed today would have been like cheating on Audra, lying to her, verbally abusing her, ignoring her--then turning right around and having sex with her. While such an act would probably still be pleasureable for a selfish b****** who cares nothing for the feelings of the spouse (in this case, me), such an act could hardly be seen as an expression of a sacrificially giving husband towards his wife (and vice versa) that is described in Ephesians 5. So, too, would communion today have been my getting what I wanted--to live like the devil but still make "my communion" (as if it were actually mine alone to be had) in order to look good or lull myself into a stupor of false piety--but in no way making it a genuine reflection of a cherished, healthy relationship with my God and my neighbor.
No...time to get off the couch, out of the doghouse, whatever--hey, I put myself there--and make amends. Transfiguration looms close...
It's always interesting to me to deal with my thoughts on mornings I don't commune. Why are my sins, which really are ever-present in my life, all of a sudden so serious now that they keep me from the chalice, when on other weeks such is not the case?
St. Paul, it seems, is quite merciful when he tells us that "whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord" (1 Cor. 11:27, emph. mine). He does not say, it should be noted, that we are not to partake "unworthily"--for none of us could claim to be such--yet we are not to partake in an "unworthy manner." My manner of preparation, or lack thereof, was most definitely unworthy of the supreme gift that was offered today for all of us, and for all the world. A bit of the foretaste of that Day, perhaps, when all those who come before the Lord unprepared will see that they are unable to partake of His presence as joy and rest...
What is the Eucharist for us Orthodox, exactly? My thought while driving to church today was that the Eucharist is, for a person who's living an upright Christian life in relation to his God and his neighbor (especially his brothers and sisters in Christ), what sex is for a couple in a healthy marriage. Does the sex make the couple one? Not really; the act of marriage itself is what unites a man and a woman, while sex is the celebration of the union that's already been formed. In the same way, the Eucharist is not the thing that truly unites us to Christ--that happened at our baptisms and chrismations--but the Eucharist is the (if you'll pardon the somewhat vulgar pun) "climax" of our already existing union with the Almighty, a celebration of a union that is healthy and open, both as individuals with their Maker and Bridegroom, and as individuals in community with each other as the Body of Christ.
For me to have communed today would have been like cheating on Audra, lying to her, verbally abusing her, ignoring her--then turning right around and having sex with her. While such an act would probably still be pleasureable for a selfish b****** who cares nothing for the feelings of the spouse (in this case, me), such an act could hardly be seen as an expression of a sacrificially giving husband towards his wife (and vice versa) that is described in Ephesians 5. So, too, would communion today have been my getting what I wanted--to live like the devil but still make "my communion" (as if it were actually mine alone to be had) in order to look good or lull myself into a stupor of false piety--but in no way making it a genuine reflection of a cherished, healthy relationship with my God and my neighbor.
No...time to get off the couch, out of the doghouse, whatever--hey, I put myself there--and make amends. Transfiguration looms close...
Sunday, July 30, 2006
New Mexico
God be praised for a wonderous and relaxing vacation. The trailer my aunt and uncle own--we call it simply "The Place"--is in Angel Fire, NM, and was a welcome relief from the 100+ degree temperatures that were/are baking the majority of the rest of the country. Audra, Hope, my mother (we call her "Gammie") and myself spent the week before last up there and got a great deal of relaxation done.
We quickly realized that we'd left Hope's ducky bathtub in Ft. Worth, so the sink had to serve as bathtub while we were there.
Hope took it all in stride, cool as she always is...
This is me out front attempting to start a fire for BBQ burgers and franks. Said fire was, we found out later that night, illegal due to dry conditions that prompted an area-wide ban. Neverthe- less, the fire did its thing. Meat good.
Hope is learning Baby Signs (see the link for an explana- tion), and here you can see her with her version of the sign for "cat" -- brushing her cheek (supposed to be whiskers) and giving a higher-than-normal-pitched cry for a "meow." She got that cemented in through lots of practice using the neighborhood cat as an example. She's gained the ability to express, either verbally or through a sign, around 20 words in the past month, much to the relief of her parents, who now no longer have to be frustrated by the "she's STILL crying/what the #%!^ does she WANT?!" phase that plagues parents. Good stuff.
Walking in the path in front of the house, picking up pebbles ... good times. She did, unfortunate- ly, trip and fall on a larger rock (smacked her little forehead, but it's nothing a band-aid and kiss couldn't cure).
Audra and I were able to convince Gammie to watch Hope (because getting grand- parents to watch their grandkids is so hard, don't you know) while we took a scenic chair lift ride up a mountain in Red River. Here's me at the top...
And a picture from our chair on the way down, overlooking Red River. Very nice having this to look at each morning...
Got down from the chair lift, and this is what we saw; apparently Hope had had enough ... and snagged a bear in the process and promptly tuckered it out, as well...
Taos, another city in the "Enchanted Circle" area of NM, is one of the older cities in NM, colonized early on by land grants from Spain, as the monument attests to. Side note: IF ANYONE WHO SMOKES CIGARS IS GOING TO GO TO THE ENCHANTED CIRCLE AREA, PURCHASE CIGARS BEFORE LEAVING HOME! Cigar places are pretty much nonexistent, much to my surprise; I had hoped to purchase a nice cigar, sit out on the front patio of the trailer, and pass a relaxing hour reading, smoking, and looking at the mountains while listening to the wind blow through the trees. Finally found a place here in Taos where I bought a very nice Bolivar Maduro, much to the ladies' relief (they no longer had to endure my hunt for cigars, which entailed following this lead or that from every shop owner in the Circle re: where I could buy one). Enjoyed aforemetioned, early-evening smoke with book and mountain view. Truly thankful for the peaceful hour.
Went on a hike through an Angel Fire park. Gorgeous smells--we were suprised at how good clover could smell!--and humbling sites. Trails were well-marked for us; we imagined what it would have been like to pioneer places like this, sans trails.
On our last day in Angel Fire, we nailed down a rumor of a hot-air balloon event that happens every so often in the Circle. Unfortunately for us (or fortunately, if you want to look at it that way, as this could NEVER happen anywhere else in the country right now due to heat), the early morning fog prohibited the event from actually happening; this balloon was the only one that even got all the way inflated. Still, it was impressive, and it's a sight to see a couple of dozen of 'em floating over the little village of Angel Fire.
We broke up the drive both to Angel Fire and back to Ft. Worth by stopping in Canyon TX and staying with my Granny. I just wish she and Hope could pretend to like each other, even a little bit...
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
"That's Just What We Do"
Back from NM. Pictures will be posted as soon as they come back from the photo dept. of Wally World. Thanks so much to all who prayed.
Have been trying for the past week or so to get in touch with my godfather, , as he's Lebanese. Many worried prayers (which aren't really prayers at all, I guess, as we are not to pray in such a state) were uttered and a few phone messages left in an attempt to nail down that, no, he was not in the crossfire of the current conflict between Lebanon and Israel. Tonight, God be praised, I got a call back from him.
He'd been in Lebanon just two weeks prior to the inital hostage taking and Israeli response. He was reflective, now, on how beautiful everything seemed while he was there, which only added to the surrealism he is experiencing now. He informed me that another beloved family from the parish was actually in South Lebanon until the third day of bombings, when they were able to get out. God be praised, the checkpoint that prior to their crossing had been backed up with hours of traffic was a cinch for them to get through, and they're now staying with family here in the States.
He laid the blame for all this squarely on the Lebanese government, which, as much as I tend to sympathize with Palestinian/Arabic sentiments of being dispossessed of their homelands by Israel, strikes me as the right take on this. Hezbollah is a terrorist organization that, as my godfather said, plays games by building schools, orphanages, hospitals, etc -- which endears them to the Lebanese people -- but they also have rocket launchers that they use (as lackeys under orders from Syria) against Israel. They're the only militia in Lebanon that the government hasn't disarmed (in defiance of UN orders, surprise, surprise), the rationale apparently being, "better the devil you know than the devil you don't." Regardless, why the Lebanese as a whole don't finish the job -- which would entail disarming Hezbollah and cutting them off from government recognition -- is beyond me.
What really was fascinating (as well as assuring) for me to hear from him, though, was his take on how the Israeli attacks are being carried out -- specifically the destinction being made between the Muslim and the Christians. Lebanon is unique among Arab nations (with the possible-but-not-quite-as-exceptional exceptions of Jordan and Egypt) of being nations where the Muslim and Christian Arabs get along and have deep, generations-long friendships with each other, yet Israel understands that all of these Hezbollah-driven attacks are from one source and one source only: Islam. You do not see Orthodox Christian (or Melkite Catholic) suicide bombers; no little altar boys are missing from Sunday Divine Liturgy because they stepped on an Israeli bus and detonated the explosives strapped to their little chests.
(LATER EDIT: This post on the blog of a UK Antiochian priest very much disputes the above paragraph, and for good reason; it's come to light recently that, indeed, Christian sites are being bombed as well as Muslim ones)
Why is this? My godfather, I think, summed it up best when he told me what Metropolitan + PHILLIP of the Antiochian Archdiocese said in the recent clergy symposium regarding this. All we can do, Sayidna said, is be prayerful. "That's just what we do," my godfather said in response to the Metropolitan's advice. What a stark contrast to followers of the "Prophet" who work under orders of jihad and deception to further their cause; we are called to pray, repaying not evil with evil, but attempting to overcome evil with good, and trusting in our God to do this.
(Also, God be praised that there is still a bishop in the southern Lebanese Christian cities that are under the worst of it; my brothers and sisters in Christ will at least have a loving pastor to guide and nourish them with Christ as the Word of God in the Scriptures and the Lamb of God in the Eucharist.)
May God preserve His estate in Lebanon, and may Jerusalem, Beruit, and all other cities know peace soon.
Have been trying for the past week or so to get in touch with my godfather, , as he's Lebanese. Many worried prayers (which aren't really prayers at all, I guess, as we are not to pray in such a state) were uttered and a few phone messages left in an attempt to nail down that, no, he was not in the crossfire of the current conflict between Lebanon and Israel. Tonight, God be praised, I got a call back from him.
He'd been in Lebanon just two weeks prior to the inital hostage taking and Israeli response. He was reflective, now, on how beautiful everything seemed while he was there, which only added to the surrealism he is experiencing now. He informed me that another beloved family from the parish was actually in South Lebanon until the third day of bombings, when they were able to get out. God be praised, the checkpoint that prior to their crossing had been backed up with hours of traffic was a cinch for them to get through, and they're now staying with family here in the States.
He laid the blame for all this squarely on the Lebanese government, which, as much as I tend to sympathize with Palestinian/Arabic sentiments of being dispossessed of their homelands by Israel, strikes me as the right take on this. Hezbollah is a terrorist organization that, as my godfather said, plays games by building schools, orphanages, hospitals, etc -- which endears them to the Lebanese people -- but they also have rocket launchers that they use (as lackeys under orders from Syria) against Israel. They're the only militia in Lebanon that the government hasn't disarmed (in defiance of UN orders, surprise, surprise), the rationale apparently being, "better the devil you know than the devil you don't." Regardless, why the Lebanese as a whole don't finish the job -- which would entail disarming Hezbollah and cutting them off from government recognition -- is beyond me.
What really was fascinating (as well as assuring) for me to hear from him, though, was his take on how the Israeli attacks are being carried out -- specifically the destinction being made between the Muslim and the Christians. Lebanon is unique among Arab nations (with the possible-but-not-quite-as-exceptional exceptions of Jordan and Egypt) of being nations where the Muslim and Christian Arabs get along and have deep, generations-long friendships with each other, yet Israel understands that all of these Hezbollah-driven attacks are from one source and one source only: Islam. You do not see Orthodox Christian (or Melkite Catholic) suicide bombers; no little altar boys are missing from Sunday Divine Liturgy because they stepped on an Israeli bus and detonated the explosives strapped to their little chests.
(LATER EDIT: This post on the blog of a UK Antiochian priest very much disputes the above paragraph, and for good reason; it's come to light recently that, indeed, Christian sites are being bombed as well as Muslim ones)
Why is this? My godfather, I think, summed it up best when he told me what Metropolitan + PHILLIP of the Antiochian Archdiocese said in the recent clergy symposium regarding this. All we can do, Sayidna said, is be prayerful. "That's just what we do," my godfather said in response to the Metropolitan's advice. What a stark contrast to followers of the "Prophet" who work under orders of jihad and deception to further their cause; we are called to pray, repaying not evil with evil, but attempting to overcome evil with good, and trusting in our God to do this.
(Also, God be praised that there is still a bishop in the southern Lebanese Christian cities that are under the worst of it; my brothers and sisters in Christ will at least have a loving pastor to guide and nourish them with Christ as the Word of God in the Scriptures and the Lamb of God in the Eucharist.)
May God preserve His estate in Lebanon, and may Jerusalem, Beruit, and all other cities know peace soon.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Fear and Travelling
We'll take these in reverse order: We'll be out on vacation in NM for a week, so blogging will be pretty much out of the question (though I will check in from libraries from time to time to read the throngs of comments y'all lavish on me **rolls eyes at self**). Prayers for safe travel, save vacationing, and a safe return for all involved would be appreciated.
As to the first subject in the title, the relatively recent and beloved mantle of fatherhood which has been placed on my unworthy shoulders has awakened a very real passion which I have, in all honesty, struggled with immensely. The first post I ever placed on this blog, in fact (back in the "Stumble On Water" days that some of you may remember), dealt in part with this very thing. I've been told by Audra that I "scare her" with the paranoia I can sometimes display: hanging around Hope like a bodyguard, keeping my back between her and any opening for kidnappers, locking the door after I put her in her carseat and have to walk around to the driver's side--all this brought on by horror stories of middle-of-the-night kidnappings or sleep apnia (cessation of breathing in the middle of the night), or like the one where an American couple was walking down a Mexico City street and, out of nowhere, a man runs up from behind them in a dead sprint, rips their child from their arms, and disappears into the throng, their child never to be seen or heard from again...these and other scenarios of the sudden and/or violent taking of my daughter and/or wife from me are rather commonplace, happening several times a week if I'm honest...
This is part of my current internal landscape. There is, of course, the understanding that one of the things we pray for (and firmly believe in) as Orthodox Christians is an actual guardian angel, given to us at baptism/chrismation, who serves as our agent of protection for the glory of God. God is not unmindful of his creatures. As I put it in the abovementioned linked post from a year and a half ago, "I know the real battle...is to allow my Lord to "direct my life in the paths of peace," as one prayer puts it, realizing that all is a gift, my loved ones included. If...something were to happen, all things would return to Him who sent them and owns them. [My feelings] must be tempered with the knowledge that I brought nothing into this world, and I truly can take nothing out." And even the destruction of our bodies, should it come to that, will be overcome by the glory of the Resurrection, if indeed we are also dead to sin in our lives.
Tonight I will pray the last kathisma of the psalter: Psalms 143-150 (144-150 in Protestant Bibles). Lots of "Praise ye the LORDs" in that section. Would that I could be the kind of man to say, if it came down to it, "The LORD giveth, and the LORD taketh away; blessed be the Name of the LORD," or, as our Savior exemplified for us in the moment of His most agonizing torment, to scream out first, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" and yet follow immediately nonetheless with, "Father, into Thy hands I commit My Spirit!" Trust is not seen in the absence of, but rather in the midst of pain.
So the idea, I know (funny how the head and mouth can babble on about what the heart still needs convincing of), is that I must trust God to "be their guide and guardian in all their endeavors" and "defend them against the assaults of the enemy, and grant them wisdom and strength to resist all temptation and corruption of this life, and direct them in the way of salvation," yet I must also understand that, if God should allow for these precious women to be taken from me, even in an atrociously violent and unjust manner, they were not mine to begin with, so I have no right to demand them back from God (no matter what my 21st-Century, western mind tells me), and God is no less good and no less loving for having allowed that than He would have been had He shielded us from it.
It is one thing to theorize about all this, I know, and another entirely to say it through teeth clenched with rage at a God who would allow it to happen (for an actual example of this contrast, read C.S. Lewis' The Problem with Pain, which was written before his wife's long struggle with a terminal illness, and follow it with A Grief Observed, which came after she succumbed). To stand in the presence of God within my own heart, "communing with Him in the paths of peace," in spite of the dangerous waves (real or imagined) that threaten the hull of my soul and those of the ones I love, so that if or when a wave hits, the pressing would not crush--this is the goal of a Christian in the war against fear. Would that I could continually be in such a place.
Perhaps I'll go and try to do just that now. Prayers are appreciated. Lord willing, I'll have some vacation photos for y'all in a week...
As to the first subject in the title, the relatively recent and beloved mantle of fatherhood which has been placed on my unworthy shoulders has awakened a very real passion which I have, in all honesty, struggled with immensely. The first post I ever placed on this blog, in fact (back in the "Stumble On Water" days that some of you may remember), dealt in part with this very thing. I've been told by Audra that I "scare her" with the paranoia I can sometimes display: hanging around Hope like a bodyguard, keeping my back between her and any opening for kidnappers, locking the door after I put her in her carseat and have to walk around to the driver's side--all this brought on by horror stories of middle-of-the-night kidnappings or sleep apnia (cessation of breathing in the middle of the night), or like the one where an American couple was walking down a Mexico City street and, out of nowhere, a man runs up from behind them in a dead sprint, rips their child from their arms, and disappears into the throng, their child never to be seen or heard from again...these and other scenarios of the sudden and/or violent taking of my daughter and/or wife from me are rather commonplace, happening several times a week if I'm honest...
This is part of my current internal landscape. There is, of course, the understanding that one of the things we pray for (and firmly believe in) as Orthodox Christians is an actual guardian angel, given to us at baptism/chrismation, who serves as our agent of protection for the glory of God. God is not unmindful of his creatures. As I put it in the abovementioned linked post from a year and a half ago, "I know the real battle...is to allow my Lord to "direct my life in the paths of peace," as one prayer puts it, realizing that all is a gift, my loved ones included. If...something were to happen, all things would return to Him who sent them and owns them. [My feelings] must be tempered with the knowledge that I brought nothing into this world, and I truly can take nothing out." And even the destruction of our bodies, should it come to that, will be overcome by the glory of the Resurrection, if indeed we are also dead to sin in our lives.
Tonight I will pray the last kathisma of the psalter: Psalms 143-150 (144-150 in Protestant Bibles). Lots of "Praise ye the LORDs" in that section. Would that I could be the kind of man to say, if it came down to it, "The LORD giveth, and the LORD taketh away; blessed be the Name of the LORD," or, as our Savior exemplified for us in the moment of His most agonizing torment, to scream out first, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" and yet follow immediately nonetheless with, "Father, into Thy hands I commit My Spirit!" Trust is not seen in the absence of, but rather in the midst of pain.
So the idea, I know (funny how the head and mouth can babble on about what the heart still needs convincing of), is that I must trust God to "be their guide and guardian in all their endeavors" and "defend them against the assaults of the enemy, and grant them wisdom and strength to resist all temptation and corruption of this life, and direct them in the way of salvation," yet I must also understand that, if God should allow for these precious women to be taken from me, even in an atrociously violent and unjust manner, they were not mine to begin with, so I have no right to demand them back from God (no matter what my 21st-Century, western mind tells me), and God is no less good and no less loving for having allowed that than He would have been had He shielded us from it.
It is one thing to theorize about all this, I know, and another entirely to say it through teeth clenched with rage at a God who would allow it to happen (for an actual example of this contrast, read C.S. Lewis' The Problem with Pain, which was written before his wife's long struggle with a terminal illness, and follow it with A Grief Observed, which came after she succumbed). To stand in the presence of God within my own heart, "communing with Him in the paths of peace," in spite of the dangerous waves (real or imagined) that threaten the hull of my soul and those of the ones I love, so that if or when a wave hits, the pressing would not crush--this is the goal of a Christian in the war against fear. Would that I could continually be in such a place.
Perhaps I'll go and try to do just that now. Prayers are appreciated. Lord willing, I'll have some vacation photos for y'all in a week...
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Thursday, July 06, 2006
The Fourth
Quite a day! We started off the day with each of us getting decked out in our red - white - and - blue stuff--Hope is here with her obviously beloved hat (which would have come off in half a second had it not been tied on under her chin with straps), then heading off with Gammie (my mother) for a train ride.
Here we are aboard the train; Hope did really well with all the whistles and brakes hissing and such...of course, there was plenty to look at, so of course she was more or less happy...
A great picture of my lovely daughter watching the woods whiz by as we head down the tracks. And no, that's not me about to throw her out the window, that's just paranoid Papi knowing good and well that he has a daughter that at any moment could lunge unpredictably out to grab anything she sees, and thus is determined to keep her inside the car, thankyouverymuch...
Audra loves this pic, as do I...Hope had too much to look at, if that's possible; our little explorer just got tuckered out about two-thirds of the way into the return trip and nodded off on Mommy's chest. Awwww....
Papi, Gammie, Mommy and a completely zonked-out Hope in front of the train after arriving back at the station.
Later that night, Hope gets an up-close (emphasis on the "up") encounter with Uncle Sam. Didn't quite know what to make of it, but didn't cry...
From L to R: My uncle Jeff, my uncle Kenton, and Yours Truly, finding creative methods of flag-display (and, in my case, enjoying a nice Shiner Bock or three...).
The ladies, from L to R: My aunt Judy, Hope, Audra, my aunt Terri, and Gammie.
A VERY fortunate pic of Anza and Mommy looking up at the fireworks later that night. I say "fortunate" because almost immediately after this was taken, Hope began to cry from the fireworks, and Audra took her inside to watch from the bay windows.
The rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air...
Yep...still there... (A pic of three of the six flags over TX taken outside the train station)
Monday, July 03, 2006
Football, Circle Dances and Unity
Sky's got an excellent post--as does Pitts--about how World Cup soccer is affecting everyone in the world, and/or how we here in the US just don't get it. I'll admit, I'm only recently getting into it, and that because I can relate it so much to hockey in terms of basic similarities of strategy (centering pass to slam in a shot past the goalie, man-on defense, etc). I just wanted to see what all the fuss is about. Me likey.
But I'll tell ya'...when the USA scored a goal (both times, if memory serves), there was no pandemonium in the streets, no audible screams from neighbors' houses down the street...in Brazil, apparently, the cities become ghost towns and, when a goal is scored, the buildings scream. When Brazil would win, the streets would be flooded with celebrating fans who would party until the next morning, or something to that effect. People who otherwise had no other common bond than football (which is enough in other parts of the world) were hugging each other, jumping up and down, crying, etc.
The only time I've seen people who otherwise wouldn't readily converse with each other was at Steve and Luda's wedding reception a month or so ago. Joy over a union, good booze to lubricate conversation and music to dance to...this was all the excuse we needed to find a common point of reference and come together in fellowship.
I guess I'm just lamenting how America in general--most likely due to our diversity--lacks such a common point of reference--a sport, a religion, a cause, an event--that will cause all of us who identify so thoroughly with this one, distinctly American thing to drop whatever else we're doing for however long is necessary in order to participate in this unifying ritual, this common cultural dance. It's lamentable enough that we can't join el baile futbolístico with the rest of the world, but even sadder is the fact that we lack even a dance of our own.
But I'll tell ya'...when the USA scored a goal (both times, if memory serves), there was no pandemonium in the streets, no audible screams from neighbors' houses down the street...in Brazil, apparently, the cities become ghost towns and, when a goal is scored, the buildings scream. When Brazil would win, the streets would be flooded with celebrating fans who would party until the next morning, or something to that effect. People who otherwise had no other common bond than football (which is enough in other parts of the world) were hugging each other, jumping up and down, crying, etc.
The only time I've seen people who otherwise wouldn't readily converse with each other was at Steve and Luda's wedding reception a month or so ago. Joy over a union, good booze to lubricate conversation and music to dance to...this was all the excuse we needed to find a common point of reference and come together in fellowship.
I guess I'm just lamenting how America in general--most likely due to our diversity--lacks such a common point of reference--a sport, a religion, a cause, an event--that will cause all of us who identify so thoroughly with this one, distinctly American thing to drop whatever else we're doing for however long is necessary in order to participate in this unifying ritual, this common cultural dance. It's lamentable enough that we can't join el baile futbolístico with the rest of the world, but even sadder is the fact that we lack even a dance of our own.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
A thee-post weekend. Rare for me; hope y'all's endurance is up...
Interesting couple of days...
Audra and I celebrated our anniversary this past week by going out to Red Lobster (we didn't have to twist my mom's arm TOO much to watch Hope). After four years of marriage she's still by far the most incredible woman I know. I am dumbfounded that I got to "walk around the table" with this woman to whom I've been crowned, and now get to work out my salvation with her there to help.
So yeah. Then there's this. This is, no doubt, the happiest face I have ever seen, in my life, period. Hope's birthday party was yesterday, and I guess you could say she enjoyed herself a little bit. You could also, in the same frame of mind, say that Hitler was a somewhat unpleasant fellow. Many friends from the neighborhood and church came. Very blessed to have all of them there to celebrate the coming of our precious daughter into the world.
My dad, pictured here with Hope. He and my stepmother came down after the party (they weren't able to make it early enough from Oklahoma City), and we sat around and talked for about three hours, then went to dinner at Pappadeaux's.
Oh. My. Lanta.
If you EVER get a chance to order the Blackened Catfish Ophasophasomethingorother Platter, DO IT. Even if you call it Ophasophasomethingorother. Good stuff.
Other things:
Listened on NPR to a fellow who, upon attending his twentieth high school reunion, discovered that his mostly negative perception of those years may have been all wrong, causing me to think of individual memories and how they can decieve you. Have you ever had one of those moments where you'd swear on a stack of Bibles (or the equivalent for those who don't do that sort of thing in the first place) that something happened a certain way, only to have EVERYONE around you calmly tell you, in that voice usually reserved for mental patients, that no, it wasn't like that, it wasn't like that at all? There is wisdom in a multitude of council, mostly because it helps the insistent-yet-delusional soul get back on the right track. Except this time the guy was actually proven right in the end. Ah well.
Daddy duty today in liturgy; Mama stayed home with bad allergies. Wonderful as always to step back and be a participant, a member in the Body of Christ, doing what the ekklesia has always done, feeding off the Lifeblood of my Maker.
Went 0 for 3 on showing our house to be sold, and each time stood up in the same, inconsiderate way: folks called to schedule an appointment, only to call it off after five days of planning due to having JUST NOW looked at the square footage (special person #1), or call it off the day of when you've known for TWO DAYS PREVIOUS that you were gonna do it (thanks, special person #2), or just NOT CALL AT ALL and not show up (extra-special person #3). Seriously, do people just engage the For sale by owner folks and make appointments for kicks? 'Cause this is odd....
Regardless, that 'bout sums it up. Hope your weekends were merry and bright, as well....
Interesting couple of days...Audra and I celebrated our anniversary this past week by going out to Red Lobster (we didn't have to twist my mom's arm TOO much to watch Hope). After four years of marriage she's still by far the most incredible woman I know. I am dumbfounded that I got to "walk around the table" with this woman to whom I've been crowned, and now get to work out my salvation with her there to help.
So yeah. Then there's this. This is, no doubt, the happiest face I have ever seen, in my life, period. Hope's birthday party was yesterday, and I guess you could say she enjoyed herself a little bit. You could also, in the same frame of mind, say that Hitler was a somewhat unpleasant fellow. Many friends from the neighborhood and church came. Very blessed to have all of them there to celebrate the coming of our precious daughter into the world.
My dad, pictured here with Hope. He and my stepmother came down after the party (they weren't able to make it early enough from Oklahoma City), and we sat around and talked for about three hours, then went to dinner at Pappadeaux's. Oh. My. Lanta.
If you EVER get a chance to order the Blackened Catfish Ophasophasomethingorother Platter, DO IT. Even if you call it Ophasophasomethingorother. Good stuff.
Other things:
Listened on NPR to a fellow who, upon attending his twentieth high school reunion, discovered that his mostly negative perception of those years may have been all wrong, causing me to think of individual memories and how they can decieve you. Have you ever had one of those moments where you'd swear on a stack of Bibles (or the equivalent for those who don't do that sort of thing in the first place) that something happened a certain way, only to have EVERYONE around you calmly tell you, in that voice usually reserved for mental patients, that no, it wasn't like that, it wasn't like that at all? There is wisdom in a multitude of council, mostly because it helps the insistent-yet-delusional soul get back on the right track. Except this time the guy was actually proven right in the end. Ah well.
Daddy duty today in liturgy; Mama stayed home with bad allergies. Wonderful as always to step back and be a participant, a member in the Body of Christ, doing what the ekklesia has always done, feeding off the Lifeblood of my Maker.
Went 0 for 3 on showing our house to be sold, and each time stood up in the same, inconsiderate way: folks called to schedule an appointment, only to call it off after five days of planning due to having JUST NOW looked at the square footage (special person #1), or call it off the day of when you've known for TWO DAYS PREVIOUS that you were gonna do it (thanks, special person #2), or just NOT CALL AT ALL and not show up (extra-special person #3). Seriously, do people just engage the For sale by owner folks and make appointments for kicks? 'Cause this is odd....
Regardless, that 'bout sums it up. Hope your weekends were merry and bright, as well....
Archpastoral Visit
(My apologies in advance for the sub-par photos)
A week ago today St. Barbara's was blessed with a visit from His Eminence Archbishop +DMITRI of Dallas and the South (we're spoiled being so close to our bishop). We had a full hierarchical liturgy, which was actually the way all services in the first days of Christianity used to be carried out. The camara was acting up, but imagine if you will the man in the last photo--a frail, bald man with a long, white beard, dressed in nothing more than a plain, black cassock which "is called 'the robe of salvation and the garment of joy,' symbolizing a pure and peaceful conscience, a spotless life, and the spiritual joy in the Lord which flows in him who wears it"--ending up like the first picture here, with each vestment placed on him serving as a reminder of all the different aspects of the office of bishop that the Holy Spirit conferred upon him for the building up of the Church and the right division of the Word of Truth.
In the earliest days of Christianity, when most every congrega- tion had their own bishop due to the small size of the Church at large, the bishop was vested in the midst of the rest of the ekklesia ("Church," or "assembly of people" in Greek), to show that he, a mere, sinful, fallible human being had been appointed by an apostle (who had, in turn, been appointed by Christ Himself) and given the grace of the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands in order to continue the work the apostles started for the good of all Christ's Church. Here in this second photo we see Abp. +DMITRI, still in the midst of us, his hands being washed in accordance w/Psalm 25:6-7 (Ps. 26 in Protestant Bibles): "I will wash my hands in innocence; So I will go about Your altar, O LORD, That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving, And tell of all Your wondrous works."
He then proceded to lead the congrega- tion in the rest of the Divine Liturgy as our father in Christ. I thought this was not only a good opportunity to get a photo of him serving at the altar with the rest of the clergy under him, but also to get a photo of our temporary iconostasis with the Pentecost green hung around it. Unfortunately, it seems that my digital camera and the new building don't get along too well together just yet. Hopefully this will improve.
This last photo is with me, Vladyka (a word that means "Master" in Slavonic, I think), and Hope after the service. Hope was fussy and clung to me like a velcro midget (she loved being held by him last December, but whaddyagonnado). He speaks fluent Spanish and was telling me about Orthodox liturgical materials that he had had translated for the Mexican Exarchate; he said he was going to see about getting me the materials I didn't already have. May God grant an increase in this area of outreach; efforts so far have been, by and large, quite frustrating, for reasons beyond me...
May God grant His Eminence many years!
A week ago today St. Barbara's was blessed with a visit from His Eminence Archbishop +DMITRI of Dallas and the South (we're spoiled being so close to our bishop). We had a full hierarchical liturgy, which was actually the way all services in the first days of Christianity used to be carried out. The camara was acting up, but imagine if you will the man in the last photo--a frail, bald man with a long, white beard, dressed in nothing more than a plain, black cassock which "is called 'the robe of salvation and the garment of joy,' symbolizing a pure and peaceful conscience, a spotless life, and the spiritual joy in the Lord which flows in him who wears it"--ending up like the first picture here, with each vestment placed on him serving as a reminder of all the different aspects of the office of bishop that the Holy Spirit conferred upon him for the building up of the Church and the right division of the Word of Truth.
In the earliest days of Christianity, when most every congrega- tion had their own bishop due to the small size of the Church at large, the bishop was vested in the midst of the rest of the ekklesia ("Church," or "assembly of people" in Greek), to show that he, a mere, sinful, fallible human being had been appointed by an apostle (who had, in turn, been appointed by Christ Himself) and given the grace of the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands in order to continue the work the apostles started for the good of all Christ's Church. Here in this second photo we see Abp. +DMITRI, still in the midst of us, his hands being washed in accordance w/Psalm 25:6-7 (Ps. 26 in Protestant Bibles): "I will wash my hands in innocence; So I will go about Your altar, O LORD, That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving, And tell of all Your wondrous works."
He then proceded to lead the congrega- tion in the rest of the Divine Liturgy as our father in Christ. I thought this was not only a good opportunity to get a photo of him serving at the altar with the rest of the clergy under him, but also to get a photo of our temporary iconostasis with the Pentecost green hung around it. Unfortunately, it seems that my digital camera and the new building don't get along too well together just yet. Hopefully this will improve.
This last photo is with me, Vladyka (a word that means "Master" in Slavonic, I think), and Hope after the service. Hope was fussy and clung to me like a velcro midget (she loved being held by him last December, but whaddyagonnado). He speaks fluent Spanish and was telling me about Orthodox liturgical materials that he had had translated for the Mexican Exarchate; he said he was going to see about getting me the materials I didn't already have. May God grant an increase in this area of outreach; efforts so far have been, by and large, quite frustrating, for reasons beyond me...May God grant His Eminence many years!
Keystone Nests, Patty Sauce
This has been posted over at Seraphim's blog Ancient Church for a while, but I'm just getting around to "breaking the news" here...
He's got a section on "Orthodox Writers" that you can visit by clicking the link at the top of his blog (the link's in the sidebar). My submission is here, for those of you not wanting to click around elsewhere on that page...
He's got a section on "Orthodox Writers" that you can visit by clicking the link at the top of his blog (the link's in the sidebar). My submission is here, for those of you not wanting to click around elsewhere on that page...
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
¡Feliz Cumpleaños, Nena!
The party won't be until this Saturday, but "my life" (as the phrase goes in Spanish) turns one year old today! May God grant this little beauty many, many years!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Joyful Knocking
Audra and I stayed up late last night talking about the last five or so years since we first started dating...in that time there's been a lot of changes in our lives theologically, and each of our respective changes have been quite different from the other's.
One of hers that she mentioned was being lazy, allowing the "I don't want to" attitude to get in the way of doing morning prayers, the reasons being everything from "I didn't really totally choose this for myself to begin with" (I was the one who introduced her to the faith initially), or "I don't feel like God hears/is answering"...yet she said two things that really resonated with me:
1) "No one's making me be Orthodox." -- True, she can't ever say that she chose this faith via an objective decision, unhindered by any other relationship with any other person, but she's stayed with it, continued to choose it for four and a half years now. Kind of takes the "I didn't choose to submit to this" aspect out of it.
2) "I'm just going to keep knocking on God's door, until even the knocking itself becomes a joy." Even if God never answers, she said, the daily and yearly cycles of prayer are themselves to be a joy, simply because of He who is on the other side of that door. (She wanted me to say that that second quote might be from something she read in one of Metr. Anthony Bloom's books, but she's not sure. Regardless, it's deep).
One of hers that she mentioned was being lazy, allowing the "I don't want to" attitude to get in the way of doing morning prayers, the reasons being everything from "I didn't really totally choose this for myself to begin with" (I was the one who introduced her to the faith initially), or "I don't feel like God hears/is answering"...yet she said two things that really resonated with me:
1) "No one's making me be Orthodox." -- True, she can't ever say that she chose this faith via an objective decision, unhindered by any other relationship with any other person, but she's stayed with it, continued to choose it for four and a half years now. Kind of takes the "I didn't choose to submit to this" aspect out of it.
2) "I'm just going to keep knocking on God's door, until even the knocking itself becomes a joy." Even if God never answers, she said, the daily and yearly cycles of prayer are themselves to be a joy, simply because of He who is on the other side of that door. (She wanted me to say that that second quote might be from something she read in one of Metr. Anthony Bloom's books, but she's not sure. Regardless, it's deep).
Friday, June 16, 2006
Little Tortilla Boy
Pablo Francisco does the most amazing imitations I've ever seen. Here is his well-known "Little Tortilla Boy" sketch, along with other various imitations in a great standup routine on Leno several years back.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
They're Back!
OK, so they've been back since Saturday night. Been busy.
They flew in lat(er than originally planned), and both looked tired, but I got weary smiles from them both. Greater than I can express here to have them back. The house is alive again.
Pentecost on Sunday--this is the fulfillment of the promise, the "completion of hope," the moment when the grace of God makes up for that which is lacking in man and gives us the power to be His witnesses to the ends of the earth.
First birthday party for little Hope E. is coming up in a couple of weeks. A belated shout out to my boy Alan and his girl Aubrey for completing five years of marriage on June 1. Yeah. I'm mad late.
Audra and I completed four years a week after that--she was in KY, however, and we've since not had a good time to make that up. She's finishing her graduate work and is usually on the PC whenever she can be. This definitely is a strain, but she'll be done after this summer, then it's on to actually being a librarian.
The Psalter--the steady flow of the Kathisma echoes, time and again: our sufficiency is not in ourselves, but in the steady, quiet voice of God who will not force Himself on you, who will not impress you with loud, grand words of thunder that shock and awe you into submission. Rather He will simply tell you, in that still, small way of His, that you are His, He made you to live in communion with Him, no other life will suffice in place of said communion, and no other incentive will be given other than the tranquil insistence of the Holy Spirit and the unchanging, secure witness of the Holy Scriptures. Compulsion will not take place here. All necessary grace has been given and is being given. We now must respond if we are to live, period, for refusal to still the raging passions for the sake of the even placidity of the fire of God will end in the eternal torment of one who, in craving novelty and stimulation, is forced to endure the hell of God's never-ending, always-contemplative, ever-worthy holiness.
They flew in lat(er than originally planned), and both looked tired, but I got weary smiles from them both. Greater than I can express here to have them back. The house is alive again.
Pentecost on Sunday--this is the fulfillment of the promise, the "completion of hope," the moment when the grace of God makes up for that which is lacking in man and gives us the power to be His witnesses to the ends of the earth.
First birthday party for little Hope E. is coming up in a couple of weeks. A belated shout out to my boy Alan and his girl Aubrey for completing five years of marriage on June 1. Yeah. I'm mad late.
Audra and I completed four years a week after that--she was in KY, however, and we've since not had a good time to make that up. She's finishing her graduate work and is usually on the PC whenever she can be. This definitely is a strain, but she'll be done after this summer, then it's on to actually being a librarian.
The Psalter--the steady flow of the Kathisma echoes, time and again: our sufficiency is not in ourselves, but in the steady, quiet voice of God who will not force Himself on you, who will not impress you with loud, grand words of thunder that shock and awe you into submission. Rather He will simply tell you, in that still, small way of His, that you are His, He made you to live in communion with Him, no other life will suffice in place of said communion, and no other incentive will be given other than the tranquil insistence of the Holy Spirit and the unchanging, secure witness of the Holy Scriptures. Compulsion will not take place here. All necessary grace has been given and is being given. We now must respond if we are to live, period, for refusal to still the raging passions for the sake of the even placidity of the fire of God will end in the eternal torment of one who, in craving novelty and stimulation, is forced to endure the hell of God's never-ending, always-contemplative, ever-worthy holiness.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Craving a Challenge
This post by Brother Aiden on oc . net (in the sidebar) is one of the most right-on assessments of effectively reaching out to youth that I've read.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
This...Sucks...
OK, seriously, I would make the worst monastic in the world. Wanna know why?
Seriously, it shouldn't come as a surprise to any of you once I actually tell you, seeing as how I'm deeply involved in both the blogosphere and an online discussion forum...
All right, here it is, my confession...
...I am a community junkie. That, and I've always been addicted to physical contact...not even actual touch would be necessary, just the presence of another person in the same building with me. Church, dinner at aunt and uncle's house, coffee today with Nick (Fr.'s son and the choir director @ church), the new gig I've got for the next month (may God grant) with the school district--all this contact with people has been a lifeline. 'Cause I gotta tell ya', I come home here, and it's quiet. And empty. And icons are precious little companionship. So AIM and blogs and theological discussions online ensue as an "out," some kind of contact to fill the silence.
A silence which falls back on me as soon as the PC shuts down. And it's a silence which, I know, would speak volumes to me about the hollowness of my heart and my need for God to fill it if I'd stop and listen, but...I really don't want to. As should be obvious.
"The Word became flesh and dwelt among us..." Sure would be nice to lean up against the holy flesh of the Lord right now...then again...would it burn? With joy? Or aching longing?
Seriously, it shouldn't come as a surprise to any of you once I actually tell you, seeing as how I'm deeply involved in both the blogosphere and an online discussion forum...
All right, here it is, my confession...
...I am a community junkie. That, and I've always been addicted to physical contact...not even actual touch would be necessary, just the presence of another person in the same building with me. Church, dinner at aunt and uncle's house, coffee today with Nick (Fr.'s son and the choir director @ church), the new gig I've got for the next month (may God grant) with the school district--all this contact with people has been a lifeline. 'Cause I gotta tell ya', I come home here, and it's quiet. And empty. And icons are precious little companionship. So AIM and blogs and theological discussions online ensue as an "out," some kind of contact to fill the silence.
A silence which falls back on me as soon as the PC shuts down. And it's a silence which, I know, would speak volumes to me about the hollowness of my heart and my need for God to fill it if I'd stop and listen, but...I really don't want to. As should be obvious.
"The Word became flesh and dwelt among us..." Sure would be nice to lean up against the holy flesh of the Lord right now...then again...would it burn? With joy? Or aching longing?
Did You ever know loneliness
Did You ever know need
Do You remember just how long a night can get?
When You were barely holding on
And Your friends fall asleep
And don't see the blood that's running in Your sweat
*****
And I know you bore our sorrows
And I know you feel our pain
And I know it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
*****
I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here
Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led
And so You've been here all along I guess
It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get
~~ Rich Mullins
Monday, June 05, 2006
IDIOT...!
What. The. Trash.
Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God
Mon Jun 5, 2006 8:31am ET
KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday. "The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said. "A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery." The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.
Comment: The Prophet Daniel. St. Ignatius of Antioch. Countless other holy martyrs who met their end this way...and now this joker wants to do this in order to test God.
[deep breath]
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God
Mon Jun 5, 2006 8:31am ET
KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday. "The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said. "A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery." The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.
© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved.
***************************Comment: The Prophet Daniel. St. Ignatius of Antioch. Countless other holy martyrs who met their end this way...and now this joker wants to do this in order to test God.
[deep breath]
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Church Saturday night and yesterday; a small group of guys showed up for Great Vespers, so a male-only service. Something about the quiet, even strength exhibited in male voices chanting a service helps me, somehow, to focus more than a mixed choir.
Liturgy was half choir/half male chanters (our ladies were under the weather and had to bow out half way through). Got my "baby fix" by taking my newborn godson up to communion. He's much wider awake now, though calm. A miracle unifying with his Maker. What a joy.
Went over to (and spent the entire afternoon in) Azle, at the house of a family from our parish. Good, long talks w/James, the dad, over stuffed bell peppers and Negra Modelo about life, history, faith, prayer, geneaology, struggles, family (and the identity that comes with it), responsiblity, iconography and painted art in general (both of which James has done), spiritual warfare, church politics, stand-up comedy, music...you can see why this took up the whole afternoon. Was given a copy of the Psalter according to the Seventy put out by Holy Transfiguration Monastery, since he happened to have two copies. That translation (online here) is one of the smoothest translations for chanting I've ever heard; today's kathisma went by in no time.
I always love that sort of thing...when members of a parish just get together and socialize. No other agenda, not even any kind of service, just relaxing together as family. Good times.
Liturgy was half choir/half male chanters (our ladies were under the weather and had to bow out half way through). Got my "baby fix" by taking my newborn godson up to communion. He's much wider awake now, though calm. A miracle unifying with his Maker. What a joy.
Went over to (and spent the entire afternoon in) Azle, at the house of a family from our parish. Good, long talks w/James, the dad, over stuffed bell peppers and Negra Modelo about life, history, faith, prayer, geneaology, struggles, family (and the identity that comes with it), responsiblity, iconography and painted art in general (both of which James has done), spiritual warfare, church politics, stand-up comedy, music...you can see why this took up the whole afternoon. Was given a copy of the Psalter according to the Seventy put out by Holy Transfiguration Monastery, since he happened to have two copies. That translation (online here) is one of the smoothest translations for chanting I've ever heard; today's kathisma went by in no time.
I always love that sort of thing...when members of a parish just get together and socialize. No other agenda, not even any kind of service, just relaxing together as family. Good times.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Stuck at Home...
...and according to the photos my wife is Not. Fair. Seriously: who said she could change so much in a week?!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Mission-Minded Parish
A breath of fresh air for me...
I know, Come Receive the Light has been in my sidebar for months, and I myself am just getting around to listening to this, but the link is an excellent interview w/Fr. Luke Veronis, an OCMC missionary in Africa and Albania, about being mission-minded.
I know, Come Receive the Light has been in my sidebar for months, and I myself am just getting around to listening to this, but the link is an excellent interview w/Fr. Luke Veronis, an OCMC missionary in Africa and Albania, about being mission-minded.
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