The Hardest Things

Someone on OC.net asked what the hardest part about Orthodoxy was for converts. I responded with the following:

The hardest part...hmm...

...two things, I guess.

I guess the first'd have to be dealing with the (natural?) tendency of people to see the chant, the icons, the incense, the vestments, the protocol, the rubrics, and all the other "trappings" of organized religion as ends in themselves. There was a phrase I used all the time as an Evangelical Protestant: "It's just all about Jesus." Meaning, of course, that anything that got in the way of an encounter with God was to be pushed aside so that we could focus on meeting Christ. It's easy to slip into "going through the motions" (another fav saying of mine when I was Protestant) and forget that all these things are passageways to that higher reality in which my Savior waits for me.

This, of course, was a Christ who is very different from--and much less demanding than--the Christ I see now in the Orthodox Church. The Christ from my Protestant days, yes, demanded that we change, but was still going to "get us off the hook" if we weren't totally sanctified at the end, 'cause after all, nobody's perfect. This, to me, is much more attractive than the God who is a consuming fire and will save some "only as through fire"--hardly a pleasant experience to think about, and not really something that goes over well in drive-thru America. So, this is the second thing: Christ the healer, made present through the holy icons, is focused intently on our sin and won't let stuff slide; He desires our full healing now, so that we can pass through the fire purified and clean. Gone is the benign Jesus who blesses us with His "warm fuzzies" and guaranteed heavenly bliss; now we are faced with our Brother and our Judge, and it is easy to become discouraged or even resentful against this much more businesslike, sometimes colder-seeming Christ of the Orthodox. The fact that I need to see amazing love in that face is one of the hardest things for me as an Orthodox Christian, but I do know it's absolutely there...more than that, it's there more than it is in the smiling Jesus of Evangelicalism.

This, I know, is my problem; still that old dichotomy I had drilled into me for twenty years. But it's a cross I'm learning, more and more, to carry, as it's only through the cross that we'll see the resurrection...

I Guess I Shouldn't Be Surprised...

...if and when the divorce rate, like gas prices, reaches an all-time, ludicrous high...perhaps in part due to these cards...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for just a few bucks, you too can tell that special secret someone on the side that you're soooo grateful they're the one w/whom you're breaking a sacred covenant with God and your spouse. That's right, it's the "Secret Lover" line of greeting cards.

My initial reaction: "You've got to be kidding." Perhaps I'm just that naive and think that there might be some shred of dignity (or, on a lower common denominator, shame) left in American society that would keep this sort of thing out of reach of the common people. Apparently not...the report did mention that the current divorce rate is above 50% right now; anyone want to go for 75?

Lord. Have. Mercy!

More Pics of Hope

Playin' in the floor, and wondrin' what that flashy thing is Mama's got...


Fascinated in the floor...


Pretty red dress...she just LOVES playin' in the floor...!


BIG ol' grin!


Smilin' in the swing...


Happy li'l swinger!


Mama and kiddo windin' down for a nappy


Time for a bath!


Mama and baby after tonight's bath

Orthodox Parochial School

Plug for St. Peter's Orthodox Classical School. If you're interested in how to start one where you live, contact 'em.

Also...interested in trying my hand at writing visitors' pamphlets--geared towards both the churched and the unchurched--about why the Church's services are the way they are, what it "symbolizes," etc. Will publish here if, when and as these come about.

Two Beautiful Women, Next to No Computers

You know what's a great feeling? Getting up early (I know, I know, stay with me here), getting a job done around the house that'd been looming over your head for a long time, then coming back in the house and, with a glance down the hall at your room, knowing that there are two beautiful ladies asleep in your bed (wife and newborn daughter -- y'all behave, now!). Awesome feeling of peace.

Must needs go back up to school, for yesterday we were struck by the computer demons: with T-2 days until school starts, no more than five teachers (out of upwards towards 100) could sign in to and thus gain any access to their computers. Thus, how many syllabi got written, approved and printed off? Right! Not a whole heapin' heckofalot. Thus, I go, after having revamped said syllabus from home and printed it off, both to get it approved by the principal as suitable for copying and mass distributing to hoards of delinqu--I mean, classes of learners, excuse me--and to finish decorating my (new and much larger!) room in time for Monday.

Am excited, however, because I get to try out TPRS for the second time this coming year; looking forward to making improvements and seeing even more of an increase in learning happening than what I saw last year!

Transfiguration

Georgian carved icon of the Transfiguration

Troparion - Tone 7

You were Transfigured on the Mount, O Christ God,
Revealing Your glory to Your disciples as far as they could bear it.
Let Your everlasting Light shine upon us sinners!
Through the prayers of the Theotokos, O Giver of Light, glory to You!

Kontakion - Tone 7

On the Mountain You were Transfigured, O Christ God,
And Your disciples beheld Your glory as far as they could see it;
So that when they would behold You crucified,
They would understand that Your suffering was voluntary,
And would proclaim to the world,
That You are truly the Radiance of the Father!

Luke 9:28-36 (Matins Gospel)

28 Now it came to pass, about eight days after these sayings, that He took Peter, John, and James and went up on the mountain to pray.
29 As He prayed, the appearance of His face was altered, and His robe became white and glistening.
30 And behold, two men talked with Him, who were Moses and Elijah,
31 who appeared in glory and spoke of His decease which He was about to accomplish at Jerusalem.
32 But Peter and those with him were heavy with sleep; and when they were fully awake, they saw His glory and the two men who stood with Him.
33 Then it happened, as they were parting from Him, that Peter said to Jesus, "Master, it is good for us to be here; and let us make three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah"-not knowing what he said.
34 While he was saying this, a cloud came and overshadowed them; and they were fearful as they entered the cloud.
35 And a voice came out of the cloud, saying, "This is My beloved Son. Hear Him!"
36 When the voice had ceased, Jesus was found alone. But they kept quiet, and told no one in those days any of the things they had seen.

(Comment: This Gospel reading was one of the main Scripture passages that led me to pick St. Peter as my patron saint; as someone who talks a lot (many times without considering whether or not the time is appropriate), I can relate to St. Peter's blurting out the thing about the tabernacles. What's funny to me is, not only does God the Father interrupt St. Peter in mid-sentence, but He also tells him to hear Jesus--in other words: "Shaddup...and listen.")

Solitude

An excellent post from the Yahoo! group orthodoxdynamis on solitude:

*Solitude:* */St. Matthew 14:1-13, especially vs. 13:/* /"When Jesus heard it, He departed from there by boat to a deserted place by Himself."/ These Gospel verses tell again the grisly story of the macabre execution of St. John the Forerunner, the devotion of St. John's disciples who buried him, and of how, afterwards, they reported to the Lord Jesus all that had happened. One part of our Lord's response to the tragic news was to go apart to a lonely place.

Throughout the four Gospels, the Evangelists record that the Lord Jesus often left the crowds that followed Him to be by Himself. In solitude He sought to be with His Father. Note: if the Lord as both Man and God, needed to withdraw from the world to have times of intimacy with the Father, how much more do we, as mere human beings, need to follow His example!

St. Antony, the founder of monasticism, exemplifies one who discovered the blessings of solitude. When he was about 18 years of age, he heard these words from the Gospel: "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me" (Mt. 19:21). St. Antony understood these words to apply to him. Immediately, he began living as a poor laborer at the edge of his village. In time, he withdrew deep into the desert to live in complete solitude for twenty years. Note what happened to him.

During these years, the great desert hermit underwent painful spiritual and physical trials. His superficial self cracked, and God revealed to him the abyss of his sinfulness - all because St. Antony surrendered unconditionally to the Lord Jesus Christ. After surrender and the years of solitude, he emerged into contact with other people who immediately recognized in him a man whole in mind, body and soul; and they flocked to him for healing and direction.

Christ calls to every one: "Follow Me!" St. Anthony's experience reveals the meaning of "following": to take our sinful-self apart for times of solitude. Each one must deliberately cast himself into the furnace alone with God to be melted down in the Lord Jesus' transforming presence, to be recast according to His will and likeness, as He burns away our impurities.

Ah, but how can we practice solitude within the mad rush of this secular, godless society that offers no spiritual room for pursuing the disciplines of Holy Solitude? But, wait! A modern contemplative, Thomas Merton, reminds us that the Christians in St. Antony's day faced a similar situation: "Society...was regarded...as a shipwreck from which each single individual man had to swim for his life....These were men
who believed that to let oneself drift along, passively accepting the tenets and values of what they knew as society, was purely and simply a disaster!"

Not all are called to monasticism. The majority of us are engaged with family and society. While more are turning to the monastic way in order to struggle for union with Christ, yet, whatever lifestyle is chosen, each one remains responsible for his salvation; and, the primary place for regaining the desire for a full, rich life in Christ remains to be found in solitude.

Hence, those in the world must develop "little deserts" for withdrawing each day into the firm, renewing, and healing presence of God. Without such times and places, the Christian will lose his soul. Two steps are obvious: 1) Our first duty is to find a Spiritual Father. We must search for one before whom we may bare our inmost thoughts. St. John of the Ladder says, " A shepherd is pre-eminently he that is able to seek out and set aright his lost, rational sheep by means of guilelessness, zeal,
and prayer." 2) We must deliberately set apart a time and a place each and every day to be with God and with Him alone. Without solitude, no renewal, no life!

/O Thou, Who in the desert gavest water to Thy People, guide us into solitude with Thee where we may come and drink so that streams of living water may flow from our inmost being./

On Baptism

The newly illumined child of God Elizabeth is currently sleeping in her crib (much to her mother's and my relief). Pictures are directly below this, but I've been ruminating the past two days over the significance of what has just occurred, and how it hits this convert where he lives a whole lot more when it's his kid.

First of all, I realized something about myself. The tendency among artsy, theatrical, somewhat-charismatic Protestants like I was was to imagine some sort of otherworldly parallel to a service in which the participants were (always dramatically) enfused with power from on high. Images in our head--fueled oftentimes by Christian authors' descriptions of swirling mist, glowing hearts and various scenes of Jesus' direct bestowing of the Holy Spirit upon us (Frank Peretti comes to mind)--led us to truly believe that life-changing moments in the spiritual realms were always accompanying our meetings. What I noticed about my daughter's baptism was that, first, there were no images in my mind of "what was going on" in that other, unseen plane of existence. This is why, I think, we have sacraments: we couldn't handle the full disclosure of the spiritual reality were we shown it; it would, I don't doubt, consume us. Any mental depiction we attempt of it as it is, then, is a gross injustice thereto.

Our services, however, are a depiction of and a union with that reality which we can handle. Hope truly did put on Christ's death and resurrection in those waters; she truly did acquire the third Person of the Trinity Himself when the chrism was applied; she truly was united to our Lord in all His fullness when her little body was merged with His true Food and her rapidly-circulating blood was mingled with His true Drink. We focus on these rites, these human actions and these physical elements of water, oil, bread and wine, not only as signs pointing to what is truly happening at that moment, but also as the concrete means by which those things truly are accomplished in our lives...they are beautiful not only because of the asthetically pleasing aspects of the prayers and hymns, but because of the realities towards which they point and in which they share.

Secondly, in light of all of this connection to that higher, saving reality...what an amazing act of grace on God's part! That our very nature as humans, fallen and corrupt as it is, could receive the seeds of immortality merely by being immersed in water, anointed with oil and fed with bread and wine--all of which have had a contact with and transformation into the Element of our life Himself--such events which make it possible to even begin our journey into life eternal are so beyond us, yet so simple to partake of. It's like a man stumbling on water as if it were dry land; he didn't get there by himself...

Thirdly, there is the issue, as a friend of mine just commented in a post below, of having a "cradle" Orthodox Christian in my house! She will have experiences I never had and will see them through a lens I've only recently acquired; from reading the Scriptures to worshipping with her Church family and praying on her own, as well as looking at the world and all its various ideologies, she'll have it all from the git-go from an Orthodox point of view. This both excites and troubles me, as I know "cradles" who take their faith quite seriously, and also those who take it quite for granted, so there's a very real responsibility on our part to be models of holiness, so that she has as much as possible, both in church and out, after which to model her own life of faith, which begins now, at her baptism into Christ. Talk about a role to play; fear and trembling definitely going on here.

I'm reminded of a phrase I've heard many times, though I have no idea who first said it. To paraphrase: "There's no such distinction between 'cradle' Orthodox and 'convert' Orthodox, or at least there shouldn't be. All Orthodox Christians, at some point in their lives, need to be 'converts,' need to make this personal, need to own this."

May Christ our God, through the intercessions of the most holy Theotokos, His mother, and of His foster father Joseph, have mercy on us as we all embark together on this quest for union with Him, together with His Father and the All-Holy Spirit.

And, the following:

A PRAYER OF PARENTS FOR THEIR CHILDREN:

O God, our heavenly Father, who love mankind, and are most merciful and compassionate, have mercy upon Your handmaiden Hope Elizabeth, for whom I humbly pray and commend to Your gracious care and protection. Be, O God, her guide and guardian in all her endeavors, lead her in the path of Your truth, and draw her nearer to You, that she may lead a godly and righteous life in Your love and fear; doing Your will in all things. Give her grace that she may be temperate, industrious, diligent, devout and charitable. Defend her against the assaults of the enemy, and grant her wisdom and strength to resist all temptation and corruption of this life; and direct her in the way of salvation, through the merits of Your Son, our Savior Jesus Christ, and the intercessions of His Holy Mother and Your blessed saints. Amen.

Thou Art Baptized; Thou Art Chrismated; Thou Art Illumined...

Fr. Basil with godparents Zac (Daniel) and Lindsey (Mary) during the exorcism prayers


Anointing with the oil of gladness prior to baptism


The child of God Elizabeth is baptized, in the name of the Father...and of the Son...and of the Holy Spirit


As many as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. Allelulia!


Papi reads from the epistle of the holy Apostle Paul to the Romans (6:3-11)


Fr. Basil reads from the Holy Gospel according to St. Matthew (28:16-20)


Wiping off the chrism


The churching, where the child is received into church life after being illumined


A bit of a shadow due to the flash, but..."receive the Body of Christ; taste the Fountain of Immortality"


Wiping the Blood from her lips...


The newly illumined child of God Elizabeth, up close

Seeker Friendly?

Just got off the phone with my mother, with whom I have had no small amount of difficulty regarding my conversion to the Orthodox Church (it's man-made religion; it's dead ritual; it's all about rules and regulations; etc.), and who attended (along with many other family members) the glorious baptism of my lovely daughter, Hope Elizabeth today! (Don't worry, faithful viewers; pics are coming soon! Stay tuned...)

Mom also stayed for the Divine Liturgy, during which I read the assigned epistle reading. She, being the faithful Protestant she is, had large, chain-reference Bible in hand, ready to follow along in the reading, only to be disappointed when I sang out, "The reading is from the epistle of the holy apostle Paul to the Romans..." and that was it. She was unaware that, as far as the service itself was concerned, the faithful hear the Word of God read aloud, and were free to read it at their leisure throughout the rest of the Lord's Day. Hence her call. She was troubled that nothing was provided for folks to read along with the epistle/gospel for that day, which led her to believe that we Orthodox therefore "just didn't care about the lost and didn't mind if they were confused about things." My mother: queen of jumped-to conclusions...God love her. She does mean well...

My friend Alan, at Rhoblogy, has written here about "seeker friendly" churches and why they're NOT what any Christian church gathering, regardless of one's confession, should be about. To summarize (and paraphrase the end of the post), "Church meetings are primarily for those who are already believers; the world is where we engage unbelievers." True. Dat.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we couldn't run off copies of the day's readings (my former parish in Tulsa did this) or have greeters at the door who hand you a service book if you want one and pair you up with a knowledgeable "buddy" who can answer questions during or after the liturgy (my current parish does this). But I would ask this: regarding those denominations or groups (like the one in the abovelinked post) who bend over backwards to attract converts, are the people who stay truly seekers? Moreover, how grounded in the faith are those who've stayed for a while if all efforts are about gaining new inquirers? If everything is so accessible that even an unchurched visitor immediately grasps everything that's going on, I wonder how good an opportunity the faithful members have to "go deep" in their faith. Further, if someone walks in, sees something (or, as is often the case in Orthodoxy, many things) that could lead to misinterpretation or just downright confusion, and leaves right after, for good, and asks no questions to try and understand...well...I question just how serious a "seeker" they were in the first place.

My mother has been to...I believe four divine liturgies. Definitely enough to build up a good cache of questions. Only perhaps once have I received a question about why we did the things we did. Nevertheless, opinions have now already been formed in her mind about us, and she has apparently resigned herself to the fact that we must just like to be confusing.

In the words of Bill Cosby: Riiiiiiiiight!

We're fond in the Orthodox church of saying "Come and see" when asked what we believe--referring, of course, to our beautiful services which do, when listened to and understood, proclaim what we have always believed. I would, however, issue this further call to all who visit--and those who (may God grant that they be more and more) are brought through her doors by the faithful who bear witness through their words and lives: "Come and see...then stay and ask." We who have tasted and seen will help you, God helping us. Allow yourselves to seek, and you will find.

"Hot Providence"

Rich Mullins once asked, "Are we comfortable with the image of God as Father and nervous about God as Lover[?] Are we happy to have God be The Creator, but scared to think of Him as being Creative? Do we like God being an enginieer, but balk at His being an artist? Does His being a logician comfort us, but His being a poet threaten us? Do we enjoy the glow of God's light but shade ourselves from the heat of His flames?...How is it that we can accept that Moses saw a bush that burned and was not consumed, yet we doubt that God can love in a rage and never cool?"

Emailed to me by a friend of mine, this post paints a picture of God as Artist (specifically, as Cook)...with all the wild temperment and lavish expression one finds therein.

Praise be to the rabid, riotous God of Taste!

Musings of a Soteriological Nature...

Have been thinking about the following passage from 1 Corinthians 3 (starting in verse 10) as it relates (or maybe doesn't?) to our salvation on the final Day. First the passage, then my thoughts, then--if y'all please--your thoughts...

St. Paul:

"According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. 11For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, 13each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. 14If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. 15If anyone's work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."

So we're baptized and chrismated, commune with the Body and Blood of our Lord and confess Him throughout our lives, then die. We are justified by this--since these things will be the foundation our body uses at the Resurrection to "put on immortality" like St. Paul says in 1 Cor. 15--yet as we will (most likely) not be completely sanctified (i.e., freed from the passions) and will still have some "wood, hay and straw," there will be a final purification we all go through, and it is for this reason that we pray for the departed: that God will comfort them in their purification, and that they will swiftly go through the final repentance pains necessary to truly enjoy our Lord forever.

Thoughts?

"I am the living bread which came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh, which I shall give for the life of the world."

"I am the Light of the World. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the Light of Life."

Second Post from Owen's blog in One Day

He's gonna wonder if he clicked on his own blog by mistake (and why it's not as eloquent as it was before!)...

Seriously...if y'all have the time, I thoroughly recommend that you read this post on individual holiness in (primarily conservative) Protestant environments as opposed to Roman Catholic or Orthodox environments.

Very humbling for us Orthodox, very inspiring (and not in the Hallmark, bumper sticker way; rather in the way that inspires one to action and change), and--I say this sadly but vehemently--very, very true.

A Divine Setup

You know, I used to be "one of those Protestants" (how's that for rude!) who looked for ways to introduce the Gospel message into any (repeat: ANY) conversation, whether the initial topic had anything to do with Christ, faith, or religion, or not. I did what you'd call "cold calls for Jesus," I guess, in which I approached people and initiated conversations (sometimes with total strangers) about whether or not they had accepted Christ or not and asked them if they knew where they'd go if they died right now, etc. (those of you from similar backgrounds know the drill).

Anyway, suffice it to say that the emphasis within Orthodoxy on working out one's OWN salvation has definitely stopped that trend, so much so that I can't for the life of me remember the last time I actually initiated a conversation about the whole "plan of salvation." I've given my testimony plenty of times since then (folks tend to ask what you are when you cross yourself backwards over a plate of lentils and rice in the middle of March), but last night was what you'd call a "divine setup." Two neighbors from down the street came over last night to have dinner. They, like us, have a newborn, and are quite a bit like us in terms of personality, so we had a great time, good dinner, etc.

As folks who have newborns know, it's a rare occassion for both parents of said newborn to eat at the same time, as said newborn will demand attention and/or food from at least one parent. So the men took the first shift at the dinner table, while the women cared for the infants. After we finished, we took the babies and, while the women ate, we sat down with our daughters and talked. He had seen the numerous icons up around our house, had given a polite "Amen" after we had asked the blessing, and had heard me mention that we were Orthodox. He basically asked me what that was, since he was pretty much not a member of any kind of faith. For the first time that I can remember, I did the whole sh-bang: started at the Fall of man, where we became mortal, and went through the Incarnation, where God takes on our mortal flesh and redeems our nature; spoke on the Crucfixion, where death took Life Himself, and the Resurrection, where Life beats Death. Spoke on baptism, wherein we die with and are risen with Christ, thus being forgiven of sins, and the oil wherein we receive the Holy Spirit and are restored to communion with God. Spoke on the Eucharist, whereby we receive the Body and Blood of Christ, which mingles intimately with our own, thus realizing this communion.

Did all this in about five minutes (at the absolute max) and in a way that (I would hope) the simplest plowman would get. Thankful for the opportunity, and hope the Lord blesses it, but...and here's the big difference between my days as Baptist lay evangelist and now...I carry with me no preconceptions about what happens or should happen next, no prayers that God would bring him to a decision yesterday (if anything, I'm praying that nothing I did screwed up the opportunity). If the Spirit moves on what I did, thanks be to God. If not, it's His show. Now begins the hard stuff: living my faith in such a way so that I can be living bread to them, yet without trying to "spring the J-word on 'em" in some artificial manner the next time I see them.

Glory to God in all things...

Ummm...OK...

Saw this on owen's blog:

You Are a Soy Latte

At your best, you are: free spirited, down to earth, and relaxed At your worst, you are: dogmatic and picky You drink coffee when: you need a pick me up, and green tea isn't cutting it Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Riiiiight. So, the description was fair-to-midland accurate...why that means I'm a soy latte I don't know, but hey, it's a good way to blow five minutes...

A Surprise...But Not Really...

Well, OK! I was wrong on the nomination, and the man is definitely a conservative (good luck, congressional Republicans...), but still...I'm skeptical that we've got a true pro-lifer on our hands. John G. Roberts definitely has a pro-life personal stance. From msn.com tonight:

Abortion rights groups allege that Roberts is hostile to women’s reproductive freedom and cite a brief he co-wrote in 1990 that suggested the Supreme Court overturn Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 high court decision that legalized abortion.

“The court’s conclusion in Roe that there is a fundamental right to an abortion ... finds no support in the text, structure or history of the Constitution,” the brief said.

My only lingering doubt, however, is what came directly afterwards, and I fear Bush may yet stick it to us, as it looks like Roberts nonetheless is more committed to policy as is than he is to overturning Roe:

Roberts on Roe
In his defense, Roberts told senators during his 2003 confirmation hearing that he would be guided by legal precedent. “Roe v. Wade is the settled law of the land. ... There is nothing in my personal views that would prevent me from fully and faithfully applying that precedent.”

So, still, we're not out of the woods yet. DEFINITELY a step in the right direction, though...we'll see...

More of the Same...

Just you watch. Bush will appoint Gonzalez (who will get approved) as the Supreme Court Justice to replace O'Conner. And now that Rhenquist is likely leaving soon (due to health or otherwise), I'd put money on a second non-pro-life-hardliner.

As you can see from the last post, I'm not fond of Bush's foreign (or domestic, really) policy. But this--the first (perhaps only?) real chance we have to overturn Roe v. Wade--was the one area he could have made himself "worth it" to me. And he ain't gonna do it. Didn't think he would, really, but it's still infuriating to watch him do this.

How Dare He...

I know the cause of the following rant is several weeks old, but gimme a break. New Dad here. Anyways...

Karl Rove is not my favorite person. Not by a long shot. That a man who is in such a high position of influence in our country would make the following comment leads me to believe that a) either he is joking and refuses to engage in serious, partisan diologue, or b) seriously believes the following and is completely devoid of any nuance and any tact whatsoever:

"Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war. Liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers."

What complete drivel. What pure, unadulterated NONSENSE. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, not only does the ENTIRE American public fit neatly into these two boxes ("conservative" and "liberal"), but the reactions of these two groups really ARE this cut-and-dry! Isn't that GREAT?! Now we can know (oh, THANK you, Mr. Rove!) with absolute certainty that to oppose the Administration on Iraq--never mind whether or not the reasons for it were questionable--is to side with the terrorists. To want to coddle them, to understand them. In contrast (a good-guy white to the obvious, "liberal black"), the neocon saviors that exemplify this administration will swing to the other extreme, saying not only is military force desireable, but ANY military action is to go unquestioned. ANY act of war MUST be a good one, for we are to destroy all our enemies...even before we're absolutely sure who they are. Moreover, ANY method of "persuasion" is deemed permissible, even if it is (let's call it what it is) physically and/or mentally and/or emotionally abusive. So much for claiming the moral high ground...

I am for the offensive in Afghanistan. Moreover, I favor aggressive military action against the folks who do things like this in the States, Madrid and London. I do not feel as though Iraq was the right thing to do at this time (we had not yet finished with the Taliban in Afghanistan) and doing what we've done when we've done it as we've done it has only made things worse. I feel Bush is misguided (largely by the fellow quoted above) in his whole concept of the Arab world...and, amazingly, I'm NOT going to advocate appeasement here!...and has proved himself largely incapable of waging smart war against our attackers, allowing himself (and, more importantly, the greatest military force in the world) to be distracted, sidetracked into an area they DIDN'T need to go into (at least, not yet) and are the worse off for it.

Karl Rove should be ashamed of himself for his blatant disregard for anyone--and I think this is the majority of us in this country--who will not fit neatly into his "for us or against us" paradigm. The fact that he is not disgusts me, but based on what I've seen in the past four years, doesn't surprise me in the least.

Brat Camp

I highly recommend this show. Almost got sick to death of it (it was advertised during every commercial break!), but it's worth it. Kids who will not submit to authority, who will not see the value of common courtesy, of teamwork, of obedience, are subjected to rigorous and structured life for an indefinite amount of time so that they can come to grips with the fact that lying to, stealing from, disobeying, yelling at and threatening one's parents so you can get what you want is wrong, not to be condoned, and makes you a bad person. In contrast, looking out for others, being straight with them, giving of yourself, respecting others, being obedient and willing to push your own limits makes you a better person. These simple concepts, so easily grasped by many of us, are lost on many kids today (as a teacher, I know; I see it daily). Life no longer, as my wife puts it, beats these concepts into you by the mere experience of living it; extreme measures need to be taken, and this show does it.

All...

Those of you who've been with this blog since the beginning have heard about the delinquint young man who lives down the street from us. Yesterday, as I was going on a walk with my mother, my wife, and my daughter, he lay on his horn in front of his house. I should have just let it go--he told me (with the f-bomb interspersed every other word) that he was working on his horn, and that it was his car, and he didn't give a you-know-what what the rest of the neighborhood thought. Went back over later to smoothe things out. Glad I did, as he's given other neighbors trouble (apparently one of them called the police) and if we can keep things as civil as possible on our side, so much the better. "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men" (Rom. 12:18) and all that.

What, then, of the young man and his severely inappropriate comments about me (f-bombs aplenty again), my forefathers and my immediate family (the latter had, thankfully, already gone back to the house by this time)? Is it not unjust to allow him to continue to harrass us? Should he not be held accountable for his verbal terrorism? I have to admit, it shook me up for the later part of that evening and some of this morning; all the while I was imagining all kinds of violent confrontations...the Holy Fathers are wise when they say that imagination truly is a tool the enemy often likes to use...

Then, God be praised, Midday Prayers today (got up too late to justify Morning Prayers) really turned things around...prayers like "Save, O Lord and have mercy upon those who envy and affront us and do us harm, and do not let them perish through us sinners" and "help me in all things to rely upon your holy will. In every hour of the day reveal your will to me. Bless my dealings with all who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to throughout the day with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all. In all our deeds and words, guide our thoughts and feelings. In unforseen events, let us not forget that all are sent by You. Teach us to act firmly and wisely, without embittering or embarrassing others."

Oh, the wisdom to be found through the Holy Spirit's guidance and inspiration as men of God uttered these prayers which have been used to walk the path of salvation throughout the centuries! To go back, also, to the Scripture mentioned before, a bit of context in the surrounding verses which is in much the same train of thought as the abovementioned prayers (vv 17-19):

"Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord."

Blessing those who (quite literally) curse you...or, in this case, "curse you out." Understanding that, as far as I am concerned, I am to respond to any goading with blessings. Should he try to pull anything, I have the authorities at the ready (he's got a warrant out, so they're quick to come over if something's reported). And, as I said in my initial post, if the worst should happen (God forbid +), neither he nor anyone else can do anything which the Resurrection from the dead will not restore.

Glory to God in all things.

Phase 6 of New Church Building

Phase 1
Phase 2
Phase 3
Phase 4
Phase 5


shot of side w/stone


close-up of stone on wall


entryway w/stone


piles of stones to be put on wall


light fixtures?


windows!


Out back, cross stands amidst fertile ground that once was bare!


lame attempt at artistic shot

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a smile!

London...

Was unable to blog yesterday...may God comfort the souls of those who perished in the satanic attacks on London yesterday, as well as the souls of those who survived.

One wonders--or at least I do--what effect this will have on the resolve of the British people at large regarding the Iraq War. My guess is that those opinions already formed will become all the more cemented, and those yet undecided (can one be undecided about this today?!) will be swayed one way or the other by the horrible immediacy of this tragedy.

Many of those unconvinced will see this as a wake-up call to action against the real threat of real Islam (none of this fundamentalist labeling...)

Others will see this as an act of vengeance for a conflict which we unjustly initiated, as well as a reminder that the ones who are truly the attackers--the international terrorist group led by bin Laden--are still on the loose while we are bogged down in a single country.

Both will be right.

An Excellent Article on the Atonement

I'd forgotten about this article, which is far and away the BEST article I know of that addresses the Orthodox view of what Christ accomplished on the Cross.

Unseen Warfare, Chapter 15 (looong)

From the book, Unseen Warfare, written by a western monastic, edited by St. Nikodemus of the Holy Mountain, revised by St. Theophan the Recluse:

"If you want to gain a speedy and easy victory over your enemies, brother, you must wage ceaseless and courageous war against all passions, especially and preeminently against self-love, or a foolish attachment to yourself, manifested in self-indulgence and self-pity. For it is the basis and source of all passions and cannot be tamed except by constant voluntary self-inclicted sufferings and by welcoming afflictions, privations, calumnies, persecutions by the world and by men of the world. Failure to see the need of this pitiless attitude to yourself has always been, is, and will be the cause of our failure to achieve spiritual victories, and of their difficulty, rarity, imperfection and insecurity.

"So this sipiritual warfare of ours must be constant and never ceasing, and should be conducted with alertness and courage in the soul; they can beasily be attainted, if you seek these gifts from God. So advance into battle without hesitation. Should you be visited by the troubling thought of the hatred and undying malice, which the enemies harbour against you, and of the innumerable hosts of the demons, think on the other hand of the infinitely greater power of God and of His love for you, as well as of the incomparably greater hosts of heavenly angels and the prayers of saints. They all fight secretly for us and with us against our enemies, as it is written: 'The Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation' (Ex. xvii. 16). How many weak women and small children were incited to fight by the thought of this powerful and ever ready help! And they got the upper hand and gained victory over al the wisdom of the world, all the wiles of the devil and all the malice of hell.

"So you must never be afraid, if you are troubled by a flood of thoughts, that the enemy is too strong against you, that his attacks are never ending, that the war will last for your lifetime, and that you cannot avoid incessant downfalls of all kinds. Know that our enemies, with all their wiles, are in the hands of our divine Commander, our Lord Jesus Christ, for Whose honour and glory you are waging war. Since He Himself leads you into battle, He will certainly not suffer your enemies to use violence against you and overcome you, if you do not yourself cross over to their side with your will. He will Himself fight for you and will deliver your enemies into your hands, when He wills and as He wills, as it is written: 'The Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee' (Deut xxiii. 14).

"If the Lord delays granting you full victory over your enemies and puts it off to the last day of your life, you must know that He does this for your own good; so long as you do not retreat or cease to struggle wholeheartedly. Even if you are wounded in battle, do not lay down your arms and turn to flight. Keep only one thing in your mind and intention--to fight with all courage and ardour, since it is unavoidable. No man can escape this warfare, either in life or in death. And he who does not fight to overcome his passions and his enemies will inevitably be taken prisoner, either here or yonder, and delivered to death.

"It is not without profit to bear in mind also the purpose for which God is pleased to leave us in this state of war. This purpose is the following. In the days of old, when God led Israel into the promised land, He did not order them to destroy all the peoples dwelling there, but left five tribes alien and hostile to Israel--first, to prove the chosen people and to see how firmly they believed in Him and faitfully kept His commandments, and secondly, to teach His people the art of warfare (Judges ii. 21-23; iii 1-2). In the same way, He does not destroy all our passions at once, but leaves them in us, letting them fight against us till our very death, for just the same purpose, namely, to prove our love for Him and our obedience to His will, and to train us in spiritual warfare. The blessed Theodorite speaks of this in greater detail. God, he says, does this for the following ends: (a) to prevent us falling into carelessness and negligence, and to make us watchful, diligent and attentive; (b) to remind us that the enemy is ever ready to attack us, lest we unexpectedly find ourselves surrounded by the enemy and overcome by passions; (c) so that we should always have recourse to God, asking and hoping for His help; (d) so that we should not be proud, but should think humbly of ourselves; (e) so that we should learn to hate with our whole heart the passions and enemies, who so tirelessly attack us; (f) to prove whether we keep to the end God's honour, love and faith; (g) to urge us to a more strict observance of God's commandments, so that we do not overlook the least of them; (h) to learn from experience the great value of virtue and so never to consent to abandon it and fall into sin; (i) in order that constant warfare should give us the possibility to gain greater and greater crowns; (j) that we should glorify God and shame the devil by our patience to the end; (k) that we should get accustomed to warfare during life and so not fear it in the hour of death, when we are to be subjected to the hardest of all attacks.

"Thus, since we are always surrounded by so many enemies, whose hatred of us is so bitter, we can expect no peace or respite from them, no cessation or postponement of attacks, but must be ready for an onslaught at any moment and, when it comes, must immediately engage the enemy with courage. Naturally it would have been better, if we had not originally opened the doors of our being and let enemies and passions enter our heart and soul; but since they have already found their way into us, we cannot afford to be negligent, but must arm ourselves against them to drive them out of us. They are shameless and stubborn and will not leave, unless driven out by force."

Test

Fire!

God is merciful...may His name be praised...

Was getting ready for Great Vespers--Audra and Hope were staying home, of course--when Hope started getting fussy. It was pacifier time, and none was within reach. I knew where we had left one: out in the car, which was in the garage. I open the door to the garage and am met with flames. I had, just the night before, burnt some old bills in the BBQ grill, and had doused the ashes with water before throwing them out. Apparently some had missed my detection, as they had apparently started this (thankfully) small, trash fire. I acted quickly, yelling for Audra and Hope to get out now, there's a f---ing fire in the garage, then began to spray from the sink's sprayer into the garage. This only doused part of the flames; the rest I put out, bucket-brigade style, with pots full of water. Audra called the Fire Dept. from the neighbor's house, and they came (after the fire was out--like I said, it was small) and made sure nothing else was at risk. They told me to wait for about an hour and keep an eye on some sheet rock the fire had been up against. Said sheet rock, I assure you all, has been doused thoroughly and repeatedly by one paranoid Yours Truly. So my wife and daughter have gone out to eat with the family--she needed to get out of here, while I couldn't leave until I felt things were safe--and I'm posting this while waiting to see on the sheet rock.

It has been a CUH-RAZY couple of weeks, ladies and gentlemen. First, there's a little person in our lives, now a situation that, had one of many factors not fallen into place, may have let the fire go undetected until much later...maybe too late. What if I had actually heard Audra say the pacifier wasn't in the car? She told me later that, for once, she's GLAD I didn't hear what she'd said (sound familiar, ladies?). Also, I may not have taken the car to Vespers; I would have probably taken the truck, which is out in the driveway.

A prayer, very meaningful to me, and on the heels of which comes this post:

Almighty and merciful God, I most humbly and heartily thank Thy divine majesty for Thy longingkindness and tender mercies, that Thou hast heard my humble prayer, and graciously vouchsafed to deliver us from our trouble and misery. Grant us, I beseech Thee, Thy helping grace, that we may obediently walk in Thy holy commandments, and lead a sober, righteous and godly life, ever remembering Thy mercies, and the blessings Thou has bestowed upon us, undeserved though we be, that we may continually offer to Thee the sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving, O Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

OK, so I'm a proud Papi...

Updated photos of Hope Elizabeth

O Santo Patrono Mío...

Today is my namesday!



Oh líderes de los apóstoles y maestros de las naciones Pedro y Pablo, interceded ante el Todopoderoso, que conceda al mundo la paz y a nuestras almas la gran misericordia.

First-enthroned of the apostles, teachers of the universe: Entreat the Master of all to grant peace to the world, and to our souls great mercy!

A Week Out...

Tomorrow evening marks one week of being parents. As we recover (is there really any time to do that?!) from this first, whirlwind week, there's obviously so much going on in my head...

First of all...I am a Daddy. It seems so...old. Yet here's this small, round, pot-bellied munchkin who depends on her mother and me for everything. She is my daughter, and I love her more than I have ever loved any other human being. Which brings to mind something I know as an absolute from this first week of being a father: Love is absolutely not a feeling. Really, I don't think it has anything to do with it at all. Yes, we've had the cuddly, warm-fuzzies moments; yes, she's absolutely beautiful and has already charmed me to death...but this week has been emotionally draining, truly. It's left me, oftentimes, very much bereft of feeling and very much aware of a desire to protect her. Something I'm willing to sacrifice for, this protective instinct is so divorced from any feeling that to call any sort of "gut emotion" "love" is, to me, to cheapen what love truly is. In fact, it's when you get past all the emotional, "drama queen/king" stuff that you find out how you truly value something or someone. What you're willing to do when no one's looking, nothing's in it for you and motivational "feelings" are nowhere to be found--this is the measure of your love for a thing or a person or (better still) Persons.

Secondly: Audra is a creature of strength and grace. My wife, who has very little tolerance for pain in normal situations, let doctors have their way with her for seven brutal hours--the nurse said they were the hardest she'd ever seen--of contractions before hearing for sure that a C-section was imminent. So much tougher than she gives herself credit for, she is an amazingly sturdy, secure person who, though she be concerned at first, will not let the feelings of fear and impatience that naturally arise dictate how she will live her life around baby.

Audra's parents leave tomorrow morning; they have truly been more help than they know, and I am more grateful for their assistance and expertise than I can express. Wonderful folks, very active missionaries to India. Not much contact with the Indian Orthodox, though their photos of charismatic endeavors make it seem as though they are doing quite a lot there.

Which leaves me feeling conflicted. On the one hand, my obvious desire is to see the Orthodox faith spread across that land St. Thomas so thoroughly evangelized 2,000 years ago. On the other hand, missionary efforts among indigenous Orthodox seem so few and far between so as not to register on anyone's radar--for example, the radical Hindi goverment following my father-in-law around. It's almost as if, in the absence of any real, determined missionary work among God's true Church, those who are very much outside her are going in and confronting the pagan strongholds.

And with what? With the name of the Incarnate Lord, Jesus Christ, knowledge of the Holy Trinity, and the awareness of (and overwhelming desire for) the presence of the All-Holy Spirit. I would rather have them there, converting the Hindus to charismaticism, than to have them stay Hindu. I applaud their focused determined efforts, even if I bemoan their theology (and our Church's lack of activism in this area).

If anyone knows of Orthodox work being done in India, please let me know; also, pray for the child of God Elizabeth, the mother Natalya (both of whom will return to Church on the 31st of July for baptism) and frazzled father Peter.

May Christ our God have mercy on us all, and raise us up that we may glorify Him among all peoples of the world.

She's here!

Check here for our little webpage on Hope Elizabeth's delivery, then click on "My Photo Gallery!" for more pics.

Not Sure...

...when my next post will be.

I do plan on continuing this blog, as I've found it to be a wondeful outlet for thoughts, rants, expression, reflection, and (especially) community. I guess you could say I'm a community junkie (this, for no other reason, is why I think I'd make a lousy monastic), and I value the connections made thus far through "the blogosphere." Just a warning that it may be a bit before the next post comes up. Keep checkin', though.

Prayers for the servants of God, Peter and Natalya, and the child to be born of her.

Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.

Prayers...

Went to church tonight; Father called last night and wanted to arrange a time where A and I could come and pray some prayers with Father for a woman about to give birth.

Still in a Pentacost state of mind (Billy Joel can have NY), was thinking about the newly-reinstated prayer at the beginning of the Trisagion: "O Heavenly King, the Comforter, the Spirit of Truth, Who art everywhere and fillest all things, Treasury of blessings and Giver of life, come and abide in us..." and my mind sort of "caught" on "Giver of life." Here we are, two people who God has united as one in marriage, the sacrament of unity, and we are now asking the Giver of life to do just that...to help us bring forth a life.

This is the beauty of the union of people in Christ; it cannot help but bring forth new, real, and--God willing--lasting life. Both in the spiritual and physical sense, it is an icon of the union, healing, and restoration of us all.

Take Me

Was thinking about Fr. Schmemman's Book, O Death, Where is Thy Sting? tonight, and thought of a song I hadn't thought of in quite a while, Take Me, by a group called Waterdeep, whom I absolutely adore. Truly they are poets who put their poems to music. Here're the lyrics to the haunting song, Take Me:

“Old ain’t a word that I’m fond of,” he said.
“And these days I’ve begun to lose count.”
Mumbling she rolls in her wheelchair, and says,
“I’m afraid that they’ve closed my account.”

There’s a blur that occurs in the line of their life
That decays the whole notion of sense
And they call to the past, insisting that it last,
While they’re climbing down reality’s fence

(Chorus)
Singing with me
Take me
Take me
Write my name in the most Holy Tome
And when it’s my time
To assume the sublime,
Take me to my promised home

And their hands aren’t gnarled, they’re in love with the earth
And they’re dying to go there again
We say the essence of life is strong in our youth,
Slowly buried under wrinkles of skin

But there’s God in the way that life comes to an end,
In the way that it draws to a close,
In the saying of soul to the house of the skin,
You’re too weak now to really oppose...

(Chorus)

Pentecost (Warning! Long Post!)

I love this feast.

Attended the Vespers service for the feast of Pentecost, the pouring out of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles. Not even Pascha, I don't think, truly fills me with as much gratitude as this feast. True, the Incarnation, Passion, Death, Resurrection and Ascension of our Lord renewed the nature of man, opening the doors of Heaven to mankind and providing for us the Firstfruits of the union of God and Man, but it is this feast which offers to each individual believer, as well as the Church as a whole, to have this prototypical union--already fulfilled in the union of the divine and human natures of Christ--manifested in the lives of each member of Christ's Body here on earth.

I think back, four years now, to my chrismation, which is my own personal Pentecost. The seal of the gift of the Holy Spirit was bestowed on me then, and something amazing happened. The incarnate life of God which was lost to us in the Fall was reestablished within my body, soul and spirit. The third Person of the Trinity came to dwell within me, leading me to union with the Son, Who would bring me whole into the presence of the Father. It is for this reason that the icon usually known as the Hospitality of Abraham, the most well known of which was written by the hand of the iconographer (and perhaps future saint) Andrei Rublev, is displayed in Orthodox Churches:


The Hospitality of Abraham
We celebrate not only the gift of the Holy Spirit, but the final act of the Godhead to bring us into His presence. The Spirit gives life to us, bringing us into the Body of Christ, wherein we may partake of the divine nature of the Son, through Whose nature we become reconciled to our Father and Creator.

The troparion, kontakion and stichera of Pentecost, from the service tonight (they say it better than I ever could). It's long, but worth it:

Troparion:

Blessed art thou, O Christ our God, who hast revealed the fishermen as most wise, having sent upon them the Holy Spirit, and through them thou hast fished the universe, O Lover of mankind, glory to thee.

Kontakion:

When the Most High came down and confused the tongues, he divided the nations; but when he distributed the tongues of fire, he called all to unity, and with one voice, we glorify the all-holy Spirit.

Stichera:

Lo, we celebrate the Feast of Pentecost, the presence of the Spirit, the fulfillment of the promise and the completion of hope. How wonderful is this mystery; for it is great and most solemn. Wherefore, we cry unto thee, O Lord and Creator of all, glory to thee.

Thou hast renewed for thy Disciples, O Christ, a different kind of tongues, that they might therewith proclaim that thou art the immortal Word and God who granteth our souls the Great Mercy.

The Holy Spirit provideth all; overfloweth with prophecy; fulfilleth the Priesthood; and hath taught wisdom to the illiterate. He hath revealed the fishermen as theologians. He bringeth together all the laws of the Church. Wherefore, O Comforter, equal to the Father in Substance and the throne, glory to thee.

We have seen the true Light we have received the Holy Spirit; we have found the true Faith. Wherefore, let us worship the indivisible Trinity; for he hath saved us.

By the Prophets thou didst tell us the way of salvation, O our Savior, and by the grace of thy Spirit. Thou art God from the beginning; and for time to come, and unto the ages, verily, thou art our God.

In thy dwelling-places I offer praise, O Savior of the world, and by the bending of the knees I worship thine unconquerable might. In the evening, on the morrow, at midnight, and at all times, I bless thee, O Lord.

As we believers bend, O Lord, in thy dwelling- places, the knees of the soul and the body together, we praise thee, O Father without beginning, the Son equally without beginning, and the most Holy Spirit coeternal with thee, the Illuminator and Sanctifier of our souls.

Let us praise the consubstantial Trinity, the Father and the Son with the Holy Spirit; for thus did all the Prophets preach, and the Apostles with the Martyrs too.

Come ye nations, let us worship the three-personed Godbead, a Son in the Father, with a Holy Spirit; for the Father timelessly hath begotten the Son, equal to him in eternity and the throne; and the Holy Spirit was in the Father, glorified with the Son, one Might, one Substance, one Godhead, which we all worship, saying, Holy God who created everything through the Son with the help of the Holy Spirit; Holy Mighty, in whom we knew the Father, and through whom the Holy Spirit came to the world; Holy Immortal One, the comforting Spirit, proceeding from the Father and resting in the Son; O Holy Trinity, glory to thee.

When thou didst send thy Spirit, O Lord, the Apostles, being seated, the sons of the Hebrews took note, and were astonished; for they heard them speak in strange tongues, according as the Spirit bestowed on them; for they were illiterate. They philosophized, driving the Gentiles to the Faith, as they preached of things divine. Wherefore, we cry to thee, O thou who wast revealed on earth and didst save us from error, glory to thee, O Lord.

Being ignorant of the power of thy most Holy Spirit who came to thine Apostles, the Gentiles imagined that the gift of tongues was drunkenness. But we who are confirmed by them cry ceaselessly, beseeching, Thy Holy Spirit take not from us, O Lover of mankind.

The coming of the Holy Spirit, O Lord, and his encompassing of thy Disciples, revealed them as speaking with other tongues, hence the miraculous wonder. As for the unbelievers, they thought it drunkenness, and the believers, a cause of salvation to them. Wherefore, we beseech thee to make us ready for his illumination, O Lover of mankind.

Of old there was confusion of tongues because of the boldness of the tower-builders. But those tongues have not uttered wisdom for the glory of divine knowledge. There God condemned the infidels to punishment, and here with the Spirit Christ illuminated the fishermen. At that time the confusion of tongues was designed for vengeance, and now the unison of tongues hath been renewed for the salvation of our souls.

And from the service of Pentecost Sunday:

Let us, O believers, celebrate with joy the last Feast, which is also the last of the Feast‑Pentecost which is the end and fulfillment of the preordained promise; for then did come down the fire of the Comforter upon the earth in the likeness of tongues, lighting the Disciples and revealing them plainly as initiates of heavenly things. Verily, the light of the Comforter hath come and lighted the world.

The spring of the Spirit hath come to those on earth, dividing supersensuously into fire‑bearing rivers, moistening the Apostles and illuminating them. The fire hath become to them a dewy cloud, lighting, and raining flames upon them, from whom we received grace by the fire and the water. Verily the fire of the Comforter hath come and lighted the world.

After thy rising from the tomb, O Christ, and thy divine ascent to the celestial heights, thou didst send thy glory, O compassionate One, to thy Godhead seeing Disciples, renewing in them a right spirit. Wherefore, like a musical harp, they proclaimed their words unto all mystically, through the instrument of thy dispensation.

Let us praise Him who overwhelmed Pharaoh and his chariots in the sea; who crusheth wars with a mighty hand; for He hath been glorified.

Thou didst call unto thy Disciples, O Christ, saying, "Stay ye in Jerusalem till ye be endued with power from on high, and I will send you another Comforter like me, who is my Spirit and the Spirit of the Father, and in Him ye shall be strengthened."

When the Prophet perceived thy coming in the last days, O Christ, he lifted his voice crying, "I have heard, O Lord, the hearing of thy might; for thou didst verily come to save all thine anointed ones.

The Spirit of salvation, O Lord, who for fear of thee was conceived in the belly of the Prophets and wast begotten on earth, hath created the hearts of the Apostles pure, being renewed in the faithful; for thy commands are light and peace.

My soul hath been stirred with the agitation of worldly concerns. Yea, I am drowned therein, from the sins that accompany me, and cast to the soul-corrupting beast. Wherefore, like Jonah, I cry unto thee, "O Christ, lift me out of the mortifying depth."

The righteous youths who were thrown into the furnace of fire, changed the flames into dew when thy lifted their voices in songs of praise, crying thus, "Blessed art thou, O Lord God of our fathers."

The unconsumed bush which mingled with fire in Sinai made God known to the heavy-tongued and hoarse-voiced Moses. In like manner, God's zeal manifested the three youths as unconsumed by fire, but praising thus, "Praise the Lord, all His works, and exalt Him more and more unto the ages."

Of old the fire-breathing, zealous Elijah did mount with joy the all-flaming chariot. Wherefore, this sign did explain the rising of the gentle breeze illuminating the Apostles from on High, through which they were lighted, making known to all the Trinity.

Strange things contrary to the law of nature are now heard; for by the one voice, which the Disciples received in diverse kinds, through the grace of the Spirit, all the nations, tribes, and tongues heard the great things of God, and received the knowledge of the Trinity.

We on whom the grace coming from God did blow, have become luminous and bright, changed in a resplendent manner of exceeding beauty, comprehending the indivisible equipotent, triluminous, wise Essence. Wherefore, let us glorify Him.

All-Holy Spirit, issuing from the Father and coming through the Son upon the illiterate Disciples, save and sanctify all those who know thee as God.

Light is the Father. and Light the Son; Light is the Holy Spirit descending upon the Apostles in fiery tongues, through which the whole universe was illuminated to worship the holy Trinity.

Today all the nations in the city of David beheld wonders, when the Holy Spirit descended in fiery tongues, as the God-inspired Luke spake; for he said, The Disciples of Christ being gathered together, there was a sound as of a mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. And they began to speak strange doctrines and strange teachings with divers tongues, to the holy Trinity.

The Holy Spirit hath ever been, is and ever shall be; for he is wholly without beginning and without end. Yet he is in covenant with the Father and the Son, counted as Life and Life-giver, Light and Light-giver, good by nature and a Fountain of goodness, through whom the Father is known and the Son glorified. And by all it is understood that one power, one rank, one worship arc of the Holy Trinity.

Light, Life, and a living supersensuous Fountain is the Holy Spirit, good, upright, supersensuous Spirit of understanding, and purifying offenses, God understanding, presiding, and purifying offenses, God and deifying, Fire projecting from Fire, speaking, active, Distributor of gifts, through whom all the Prophets, the Apostles of God, and the Martyrs are crowned, a strange Report, a strange sight, a Fire divided for the distribution of gifts.

O heavenly King, the Comforter, Spirit of Truth, who art, in all places, and fillest all things, Treasury of good things, and Giver of life, come, and take up thine abode in us, and cleanse us from every stain; and save, O good One, our souls.

St. Peter

Here's a post from today's orthodoxdynamis (a Yahoo! group daily devotional) about my heavenly patron, St. Peter, chief of the apostles. A very Orthodox, scriptural view of him.

Tuesday...

Our little one will, Lord willing, be born this coming Tuesday, June 21st, the Third Day of the Holy Trinity, if not before. The appointment to induce labor is set for Tuesday at 5 AM (ugh). As induction usually speeds up the birth, the child should be with us sometime that same day.

The Countdown Begins...

Audra had her weekly appointment today. Her OB-GYN said that she would enduce labor either on Tuesday or Thursday of next week.

By this time next week, ladies and gentlemen, we will either be parents already or be in the process of becoming them.

Pray for us.

From Aaron's blog, The Violent Munkee, a bibliophile's Meme:

1. Total Number of Books I've Owned:

Seriously, I DON'T KNOW. Probably close to 1,000. Couldn't tell you, though.

2. Last Book I Bought:

O Death, Where is Thy Sting? by Fr. Alexander Schmemman. A good read, especially for those who want a good, hard look at how death is to be despised to the last breath, not "accepted" nor something to which we should be "resigned" or "reconciled."

3. Last Book I Read:

All the way through? A couple: re-read Hitchhiker's Guide in preparation for the movie (which, if you've seen it, you know that that really didn't matter all that much, as they took bits from several of the books and put 'em in there. Also read Harry Turtledove's The Guns of the South, an alternative fiction about the Confederates winning the Civil War.

4. Five Books That Mean A Lot To Me:

1. The Apostolic Fathers. They were the guides who led me out of Evangelical Protestantism and into deeper questions about what it meant to be "in Christ." These men are called "apostolic" because they sat at the feet of and received their extensive training as bishops and/or apologists for the Faith from the writers of the New Testament themselves. They painted a picture of the original Church that was very different from my Baptist upbringing, so I began to ask questions about just how accurate my view, derived only from Scripture, was, and if it needed to change. I owe these guys a lot for getting me started on the road to Holy Orthodoxy.

2 and 3. For the same reasons: The Orthodox Way by Bp. KALLISTOS Ware and For the Life of the World by Fr. Schmemman. Were the two books that really made me sit up and take notice of the different "spiritual flavor" that Orthodoxy offered. Knew I had to take the claims of this Church seriously after reading them.

4. "Waiting for Godot" by Samuel Beckett. I wrote my Sr. Thesis on this, along with his other play, "Endgame." A classic tale of two tramps waiting for what the audience knows will never come, it's been interpreted as a satire of religious souls waiting for God (which I deem as a superficial shot at the title and an unfair reading of the play) as well as of materialist souls waiting for meaning in an ultimately meaningless world (which I see as more plausible). In any case, Beckett paints his own picture of nihilism, giving those of us who do not share his worldview a richly artistic picture of what life is like when meaning eludes seekers who search both the spiritual and the material realms.

5. The poetry of Pablo Neruda, specifically Veinte Poemas de Amor y una Canción Desesperada. Not only can this man write stuff that can make women SWOON (though only when understood in the original Spanish, in my experience), this guy was the first author I really read -- and by that I mean read for enjoyment -- in another language. It was a welcome break from García-Márquez, Lorca and Borges (though Borges was occasionally cool). His poetry is amazingly heartfelt and connected to the most primal and urgent feelings of most anyone who's ever been REALLY in love or REALLY hacked off. Just beautiful.

5. People I Will Infect With This Meme:

Alan, Nathan, David, Ronda, The Rambler, Paige, Ari, Owen, Joshua, and Kevin Basil.

Anniversary!

Three's a good number.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, my wife, Audra and I celebrate the third anniversary of our union in marriage. These have been undoubtedly the three best years of my life, no comparison. She has taught me more about myself than I ever thought was even out there...some stuff I didn't, at first, want to know...but she is, indeed, perfect for me. Thank you, O Lord, for my wife.

I got her some comfy sandals to help with the burden of carrying herself and (please-God-let-it-be-)soon-arriving child. She would probably prefer an early onset of labor.

We commemorate the glorification of St. John of Kronstadt today -- you can see a summary of his life here, at a page for his repose though the OCA website -- a wonderful, loving saint to watch over us and help us as we work together to achieve theosis.


Holy St. John of Kronstadt, pray to God for us, Peter and Natalya!

From the (Temporarily!) Dormant Blog, Pensateomnia...

There's this post about the odd claim of "assured salvation" within Protestantism and the distinction it attempts, yet fails, to make from Catholicism...

This one, which says all that needs to be said about intellectual snobbery and eliteism, which is the root, I think, of the problem many have observed in which "those who can't" often go to teach... (though this, as you no doubt guessed, is not always the case, in my fair and balanced opinion!)

And this one...a GREAT quote from St. Gregory of Nyssa...

Looking forward to when this blog will be up and running again in a few months!

Should I Get My Hopes Up?

What an odd couple of days....

After being so quickly dismissed from TAKS tutoring, I decided it was the most beneficial option at my disposal to be as involved with the Global Language Center as I possibly could (which is pretty dad-gum involved, as I had all day, every day available until Dormition!) That, and seeing what I could see on proz.com -- a veritable paradise of potential freelance work for language/translation geeks such as myself -- would (I hoped) get us enough to make it through the summer without having to dine on pork-'n'-beans and spaguetti all summer.

It was then I got a call from the principal of TAKS training (who really did feel awful about having to dismiss me). The fellow who is involved with quite a few of the school district's summer programs -- and who, incidentally, was SUPPOSED to have made the original decision regarding filling the TAKS tutoring position (one of his inferiors hired me w/out consulting him, hence my inevitable sacking shortly thereafter...) -- had a position available for a non-certified teacher such as myself (I like that phrase; can you tell?) to do much the same thing I WAS doing, but with a smaller group of students (> or = 10) in their 20s who didn't pass the since-discontinued, former standardized test, TAAS. Same pay, same schedule, start tomorrow. And since HE'S the one hiring me, there's nobody else (so he says) who will come along to sack me on Monday.

So -- at present -- looks like this in the morning, GLC stuff in the afternoon/evening. Good stuff, thanks be to God. And so, another prayer, this one of thanksgiving:

Almighty and merciful God, I most humbly and heartily thank Thy divine majesty for Thy lovingkindness and tender mercies, that Thou hast heard my humble prayer, and graciously vouchsafed to deliver me from my trouble and misery. Grant me, I beseech Thee, Thy helping grace, that I may obediently walk in Thy holy commandments, and lead a sober, righteous and godly life, ever remembering Thy mercies, and the blessings Thou hast bestowed upon me, the undeserving one, that I may continually offer to Thee the sacrifice of praise than thanksgiving, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Summer Work...Kinda...

So I get called out of my class today--first frickin' day of TAKS tutoring (see two posts down if you're new)--and am told that, since I am not technically certified to teach English, the district can't have me teaching these kids and prepping them for the test. Nevermind, I suppose, that I rocked the house (if I may say so) as an English major in college; my lack of a (frankly) silly little certification test precludes me from teaching these lovlies who, I must say, could be taught what they need to know by a reasonably bright high school student.

Ah, well...went by the Global Language Center here in Ft. Worth after the session was over (they let me finish so I'd at least get the hours in for today, which was nice of them), and promptly got signed up to do ESL classes! I'll only be subbing for some folks tomorrow, but afterwards I'll sit down with the bosslady, who'll get me going on some long-term, consistent classes. Sessions are five weeks long, and it sounds like business is booming, so while it may take a bit to get a real clientele going, this is at least something during what will undoubtedly be the most strenuous (and, financially, the leanest) summer of my life.

Prayer after finding out I was sacked:

O God, our help and assistance, who art just and merciful, and who heareth the supplications of thy people; look down upon me, a miserable sinner, have mercy upon me, and deliver me from this trouble that besets me, for which, I know, I am deservedly suffering. I acknowledge and believe, O Lord, that all trials of this life are given by Thee for our chastisement, when we drift away from Thee, and disobey Thy commandments; deal not with me after my sins, but according to Thy bountiful mercies, for I am the work of Thy hands, and Thou knowest my weakness. Grant me, I beseech Thee, Thy divine helping grace, and endow me with patience and strength to endure my tribulations with complete submission to Thy will. Thou knowest my misery and suffering and to Thee, my only hope and refuge, I flee for relief and comfort; trusting to Thine infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when Thou knowest best, Thou wilt deliver me from this trouble, and turn my distress into comfort, when I shall rejoice in Thy mercy, and exalt and praise Thy Holy Name, O Father, Sona nd Holy Spirit: now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Longing for Little One

We're having a garage sale tomorrow and Saturday--our desparate and hopefully fruitful attempt to get rid of some of the extra stuff that's accumulated round our house--and my mother, who lives here in town, was gracious enough to come help us...we just got done about fifteen minutes ago, and as she drove away, I caught a glimpse of the child safety seat in the back seat of her car (see, this is why grandparents living in the same city is a definite good thing: free, eager babysitters!). All of a sudden I had this intense longing to meet, to know, to touch and caress and kiss the soft, vulnerable head of someone I've never even seen face-to-face...only in a fuzzy, grainy, black-and-white image...yeah, she'll keep us up all night, yeah she'll scream for no good reason for long periods of time...yeah, she'll eat and eat and eat...and poop and poop and poop...but come on, child. Bring it. Make us a family, for reals.

I love you, Hope E. And I've not even seen your sweet face yet. Ven y estate con nosotros, mija.

Summer Work!

Thank God--I'm going to be teaching TAKS tutoring sessions (TAKS is the TX Assessment of Knowledge and Skills test, which is the statewide standardized test that every one has to perform well on for No Child Gets Ahe--, excuse me...[ahem] that's No Child Left Behind), Monday through Thursday, in the morning, from next Monday through July 11! Am still hoping to find something to do in the afternoon, but this will definitely help us through the summer.

Thanks be to God...

Annex to the Blog

If you're observant, you'll see there's now a link underneath the icon at the top of the blog to the "Infamous Electronic Quote Book." This goes back to college days, when I would keep an ear out for random quotes that, if taken completely out of context and left devoid of any explanation for the reader, would either scandalize or cofuse the tar out of said reader. So on this livejournal you will see, every so often (maybe twice, three times a week depending on how random my students/wife/fellow parishoners/random guy at Wal-Mart is being. Quotes will be accompanied by the date they were uttered, and that's it. No utterer, no footnote explaining it away, hence the fun.

Oh, and I don't put in stuff other people hear and want me to post. Sorry.

Check it out if you like!

Army Priest

Fr. George's blog: he's an Orthodox army priest and a former Southern Baptist. Only has a pic of himself and a (long!) conversion story, but for those who like that sort of thing (as I do), this is a great start of what promises to be a very interesting blog. Pray for Fr. George as he serves both our God and our country!

Spoken Thunder, Murmured Rain...

From today's post at the Yahoo! Group orthodoxdynamis (read the whole patristic commentary here).

St. Ephraim (d.373 AD)..."When our Lord took a little bread He multiplied it in the twinkling of an eye. That which people effect and transform in ten months with toil, His ten fingers effected in an instant. For He placed His hands beneath the bread as though it were earth, and spoke over it as though thunder. The murmur of His lips sprinkled over it like rain, and the breath of His mouth was there in place of the sun....The loaves of bread, like barren women and women deprived, became fruitful at His blessing, and many were the morsels born from them. The Lord also showed the incisiveness of His word to those who were submissive...in accordance with the hunger of those who were hungry....His miracle therefore was measured by the hunger of the thousands, and it was victorious over the number of the twelve baskets."